Latest Liverpool News

Scouse kid-start 'em young!

A police raid in Toxteth last night found a cache of 2000 semi-automatic weapons with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tons of heroin, £5m in forged banknotes and 25 trafficked Thai prostitutes all in a public building behind Toxteth Library.

Local residents were stunned. One commented: "We're all shocked. We never even knew we had a library".

Scousers And The Police State

Whatever they do, no matter how unpleasant and nasty, the people of Liverpool manage to claim victimhood and spend the next few decades wallowing in a vat of sloppy self-pity. Luis Suarez is found guilty of racially abusing an opponent and the Liverpool team and their manager appear at the next game wearing t-shirts proclaiming him to be the victim. How very Scouse!

On Saturday Suarez proved himself to be a Uruguayan who easily adapts to his adopted culture by refusing to shake hands with his victim,  Patrice Evra, despite Evra's civilised attempt to put the whole affair behind them. Suarez, once again claiming victim status. Did that famous whinger Dalglish condemn his player? No, he said any ill feeling at Saturday's game was nothing to do with Suarez. Both have since apologised as the non-Scouse owners of Liverpool FC, a couple of Americans, are obviously much more civilised and are thoroughly ashamed of the whole business. But is apologising because you are forced to really an apology? At least Evra can be grateful that Suarez didn't bite him on the face, which he did to an opponent when he played in Holland for Ajax.

Subversive-ban it!

So it's a mess. Then on Saturday up pops Greater Manchester plod in their size 12s to really prove what a mess we are in. A popular, and very enjoyable Manchester United fanzine, Red Issue, carried an image of a Ku Klux Klan style pointed hat with Suarez  Is Innocent, LFC on it. Football fans wind each other up, that's part of the fun. But plod decided some poor little Scouser might just possibly find said image offensive, so the magazines were confiscated and some people in posession of them were refused entry to the ground. Sellers were threatened with arrest.

I find The Guardian newspaper offensive with it's politically correct whining pap. Will Greater Manchester Police close it down? I find much of what the BBC broadcasts patronisingly offensive. Will GMP close the BBC down?  In fact on the grounds of 'might cause offence' just about every publication, TV programme, radio broadcast could offend some poor soul somewhere. Farewell satire. Farewell biting news programmes. Should they all be either closed by the police or maybe we should just bring in state censorship, you know like they have in Cuba, China and other totalitarian, freedom destroying dictatorships.

If you think the actions of the police on Saturday are nothing, it was only a little magazine produced by football fans, then you should be very worried. If they can do that to Red Issue, what will the next one be? It could be a magazine that you read.

Remember, with possibly offending somebody now bringing you to the attention of the police you need to be very careful. If I open the door for you and you don't acknowledge it I find it offensive and might just dial 999. Tell me a joke about a fat bald man and I might possibly take offence and dial 999. I find the Scouse accent deeply offensive. Actually......

Maybe GMP have actually saved us from another few decades of Scousers weeping and wailing and wallowing in self-pity because of offence caused by that image, or the fact that they could have been offended! But I doubt it, something else will happen soon to have them in an emotional state again.

The Sounds in My Head

Oh God, please not Bronski Beat!

No, I'm not going mad, at least I don't think so, but recently there seem to be more than the usual number of tunes that get in my head and refuse to go. You know what I mean, you're tootling round the supermarket and suddenly it's there, that tune. You even find yourself humming it out loud, and it isn't always a tune you necessarily like, which makes it even worse.

It happened to me before Christmas and the tune wedged in there and refused to go. It's easing now, but there are still a few times during an average day when it pops in and haunts me. The song is Tar Barrel in Dale by The Unthanks.  If you follow the link and listen to the song I'd be interested to hear if it invades your mind too! Thankfully I like the song, that's some mercy.

Then yesterday I worked with Sweeps, a Scouser on my acting course. It felt like he'd spent Christmas at home with us as he pops up in the current McDonald's and Sheila's Wheels TV commercials. Every time I turned the telly on that bugger popped up. So I was haunted by a Scouser on TV, and The Unthanks had got themselves into the dark recesses of my mind.

But last night, and today it became a lot worse. Last night Sweeps kept singing the opening lines of He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.  So I now have The Hollies desperately fighting The Unthanks like some kind of mental Eurovision Song Contest going on in my head. But to make matters worse the high pitched squealing of Jimmy Somerville singing the chorus of Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy keeps sneaking in. He kept singing that one too when his brother got a bit too heavy for him.

Bloody Scousers!!

Liverpool's a Shithole-Official!

Something Mancunians have known for decades has been confirmed in the Independent and elsewhere after a government survey:

Liverpool's a Shithole-The Independent.

And if you wonder what they use their allotments for in Liverpool there's the following from the BBC:

A woman has told of her shock after she found firearms three times at her Liverpool allotment.

Librarian Joanne Radley said she found shotgun barrels, cyanide and a silencer at the plot in Greenbank Lane.

A man has been arrested over the firearms find and is being held in custody.

The discovery is being linked to a chemicals find at a flat in Ullet Road on Saturday, resulting in the evacuation of 30 residents.

Ms Radley, who works at Garston library, said despite showing police her discoveries it took them over a month to act.

She said: "My daughter Fawn was helping me dig the allotment up in July when we made our initial discovery.

"She found what she thought was a pipe, but it turned out to be a flask containing the barrels of a shotgun.

'Took firearms'

"We were pretty shocked - it's not what you expect to find when you're digging up your veg - so we immediately contacted the police.

"They took the firearms and told us to get back to them if we found anything else.


Joanne Radley said she was told the white powder was cyanide "A few days later we did - two boxes of ammunition and white powder - and told the police again. They did a surface search and cordoned off the area.

"Twenty-four hours later we were allowed back and we found more ammunition and a silencer. This time I took it to the police station because I was so fed up of no action."

Merseyside Police said that part of their investigation was "under review". Det Supt Ritchie Davies said the suitability of officers' allotment searches would be looked at

Those loveable Scousers eh!

Those Loveable Scousers

It's nice to see even the police coming a cropper under the weight of stupid regulations being brought in by New Labour.

The arrest of a teenager in Liverpool for stealing a car, no surprise there then, could land police in court for illegally using an unmanned flying surveillance drone. But the police may have committed a criminal offence not having permission from the Civil Aviation Authority to fly its new Unmanned Aerial Vehicle.

Officers used the UAV, which is equipped with thermal imaging cameras, to pursue two suspects travelling in a stolen car in Bootle in January. But they appear to have overlooked legislation brought in to address concerns about the safety implications of flying unmanned aircraft in built-up areas.

A spokesman said: "Since the force has known of the change in regulations, all UAV flights have been suspended and will remain so until the appropriate licence has been granted."

Shame the thing wasn't shot down, but it seems Scousers only shoot each other.

Those Loveable Scousers

A gas engineer was attacked by four men while he was carrying out emergency repairs to a suspected leak in a Liverpool street.

The man suffered injuries to his head and body in the unprovoked assault on Carnation Road, Walton.

He had been repairing a pipe when the men demanded his van keys, assaulting him when he refused.

Police said the man had since been discharged from hospital, but was left very shaken.

The offenders are described as being white, aged between 16 to 18 years and of average build. All four wore dark hooded jackets.

'Dangerous behaviour'

Det Con Andy Bason, leading the investigation, said: "This was a cowardly and unprovoked attack on a man who was carrying out an emergency repair.

"We are making extensive inquiries to identify the offenders and will do all we can to catch these men and put them before the courts.

"Behaviour such as this is extremely dangerous and will not be tolerated."

Merseyside police are appealing for witnesses to the attack, which happened at about 2000 GMT on Saturday.

From the BBC

Liverpool v Manchester United

Those Scousers do learn very early how to nick a hubcap.

Of course any United fans will know to protect their beach balls on their way to the ground tomorrow, Scousers could peel an orange in your pocket and you'd never know.

Anton du Beke and Carol Thatcher-Oppressed!

One of the images is a gollywog, the other Jasmin Alibhai-Brown. One offends me, the other doesn't.

The police state marches on, gathering momentum each day as the politically correct establishment turn the British Isles into a huge prison island. I wasn't going to comment on the Anton du Beke business, it seems so trivial. A dancer, in a private converstaion says that his dance partner, after spray tanning "looks like a Paki". Two weeks later somebody makes it public, wow, must have been a slow news day, and all hell breaks loose. Yet again the quislings and collaborators complain to the BBC, 500 members of the public with lives sadder than slugs and brains smaller than a mosqito's.

I decided to comment today because I have just heard professional offendee Jasmin Alibha-Brown on her soap box. If that bitch finds this country so disgusting, racist, imperialist why not piss off back to Uganda? Because she knows where she can have a cushy life, plauded by the self-loathing pinko-liberal establishment. She would probably be treated like the parasite she is in Uganda where, I suspect, they have more important issues to exercise the mind.

Her argument today was that it is OK to use the word "Paki" in a private dinner party for example, but not in a public space. Even when she was told, repeatedly, that he had used it in a private converstion she kept banging on about public space.

Then poor old Carol Thatcher was dragged in yet again for saying that a tennis player, with a particularly '70s style haircut "looked like a gollywog". It now seems that Carol Thatcher's sin was to not apologise. So she lost her job for perceived rudeness rather than 'racism' after all. The tennis player did actually look like a gollywog by the way.

But the great irony was that Jo Brand, the fat, ugly comedienne was the one that found the gollywog reference offensive. So talking about vaginas, penises and bodily functions and so on in your act isn't offensive Jo, but referring to a gollywog is?

Finally, I am a Mancunian, but Scousers and others refer to us as Mancs. So the next time a Scouser shouts: "Piss off you Manc bastard" at me, I look forward to him losing his job, if any Scousers actually work these days, and to my numerous appearances on news and current affairs shows explaining how mortally offended I am, not just for me but for Mancunians throughout the world.

Unless he does it in a private dinner party. Highly unlikely of course, as most Scousers aren't house trained!

Feed The Scousers

The world is sending food parcels to the Scousers, according to BBC NW news.

Lazy bastards. What do they do with all our tax money they get in welfare benefits?





Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time

Vile Racism!

On the radio today I heard that a footballer is to be interviewed by police for allegedly making racist remarks to a ballboy at Goodison Park, home of Everton FC, yesterday. My immediate reaction was to wonder why, yet again, soft Everton fans have gone complaining to the police about something. They do seem to have a habit of it.

My feeling is that football should be a man's game, if you are so soft that you can't take a bit of verbal then don't go. Banter is part of the game and letting off steam after a hard week at work is one of the pluses of watching football. Of course Everton being a Liverpool club they probably don't have the pressure of work, but that's another thing.

Let's face it fans give players the most vile abuse at times so, when a player has had enough, let him have a go back and don't go whining about it. I was at Selhurst Park when Eric Cantona did his famous act of retribution. Instead of being rewarded the mardy lardheads at the FA banned him. Outrageous miscarriage of justice that one.

So what was this vile act of racism that so distraught the little Scouse ballboy? Apparently Blackburn's El Hadji Diouf is alleged to have said: "Fuck off white boy!"

Now my reaction would have been to reply: "Fuck off yourself you prick", or something similar. I would have then got on with the rest of my life. But then again Scousers do lack a sense of proportion, as the nation sees whenever a Scouser gets a cold and the whole place goes into grieving mode.

It's nice to know that Scouse plod has no real work to do though. Perhaps Scousers have collectively gone into a state of shock at this evil remark to such an extent that they can't even bring themselves to nick cars, stab any grannies or sell cocaine from an ice cream van any more, but I doubt it.

I've said it before and will say it again, bloody grow up!

Those Loveable Scousers

They just can't behave can they?

A group of 25 Britons who are all believed to be from Liverpool are being questioned by police in Spain after drug raids on the island of Ibiza.

They were held as part of Operation Trafalgar, which targets alleged drugs traffickers in San Antonio town.

Police reportedly seized 19,000 Ecstasy tablets, 1.5kg of ketamine and 500g of cocaine during the operation.

Still, I suppose it's that or the dole.

From Teletext.

Self-Pity City

Welcome to Liverpool, home of the emotionally incontinent.

Player Facing Disciplinary Action For Smiling.

It Had To Be A Scouser!

A wheelchair basketball star from Liverpool who won a bronze medal for Britain at the Beijing Paralympics has been jailed for benefit fraud.

Ade Orogbemi named as captain for the basketball team at next month's BT Paralympic World Cup, was jailed for six months at Liverpool Crown Court.

Orogbemi, 30, pleaded guilty in January to three counts of fraud.