Annual Police Terror

Suspect left Berni Inn car park a minute ago.

The annual police terror has begun. Your employers will be sniffing you out for booze after lunch ready to sack you, and the TV ads will start showing children smeared with blood in the gutter butchered by a motorist who had a sherry two days previously with aunt Florrie.

Yes, it's Christmas!

Get mugged, burgled, stabbed or shot 11 months of the year and you get a crime number for your insurance claim, because of the cuts. But from now until Jan 1st (at least) the streets will be crawling with Filth, all on overtime, trying to catch you a tad over the limit at 8-30am crawling through the rush hour traffic when you are more likely to die of boredom than kill a small child.

It's Christmas!!!!!!!!

Annual Police Terror

The Annual Police Terror is upon us. From now until New Year there will suddenly be police on most of our roads in numbers we all thought the cuts had made impossible. God help you if you've necked a quick glass of port at the office Christmas Party.

No doubt there will be morbid TV ads of angelic children explaining how daddy was cruelly taken from them by a nasty man who'd had a pint of Hobgoblin before driving home. There'll be a sobbing walk-on actor telling us all, voice shaking, how he wiped out a family of six while driving after eating a packet of wine gums.

Yesterday there was a disgusting phone-in on BBC Radio2 with people proudly telling us how they'd grassed up loved ones to the police. One woman proudly told us how she'd grassed up her mother-in-law who had been on the sherry before driving home. The poor woman was nicked, dragged off to the station and released without charge. She was innocent and her son is now, thankfully, divorced. The Stasi would be proud of modern Britain.

Merry Christmas.

Police State

If anybody thought that this bastard son of Blair government, aka The Coalition, would improve anything in the UK then think again. The public have told the government that they don't want the police commissars (PCCs), foisted on us by Cameron, by not bothering to vote yesterday.

This morning on TV Damian Green MP, Minister for Police and Criminal Justice, claimed that even though less than 20% of the electorate voted, the new commissars had a mandate from the public because we had the chance to vote for them. How very North Korean.

No Mr Green, we didn't vote because we don't want them. In plain English, we don't give a shit about your poxy commissars. They do not have a mandate any more than this poxy government that nobody actually voted for has a mandate.

Then this morning I read about a man in Glasgow who is to appear in court charged with behaving "in a threatening or abusive" manner. He fed a sausage roll to a police horse who he felt looked hungry. It may have been a daft thing to do, but arrested and charged? Nice to know the Glasgow police have no real crime to take up their time.

Recently there has also been a case where a drunken student was arrested and spent a night in the cells for behaving in a "homophobic manner". His crime? He asked a police horse if it was gay. Yes, I know. It seems that the police put the poor delicate flowers among their ranks, the ones who are easily offended and emotionally delicate, out of the way up there on horseback.

It is easy to laugh at these and other ludicrous examples of the state losing all sense of proportion, but that is a very dangerous trap to fall into. What these things show, the commissars and the humourless prats on horseback, is actually how far down the authoritarian road to a police state we have moved in the last couple of decades.

So, the next time you pass a bobby, especially one on a horse, make sure you smile and greet him with a cheery "good morning officer". Anything less may be interpreted as threatening behaviour, and may find yourself cuffed, horsewhipped and dragged into cell for a night.

And bear in mind that the annual police terror will soon be upon us as the police try to catch us for drink driving on the way to work of a morning after the previous night's Christmas party. Be warned!

Full story of the sausage roll here.

Police Plebs?

A few years ago Halford's supplied the police in Lancashire with mountain bikes. One particular bobby, in Preston, refused to use his bike as although he was perfectly capable of riding it, he hadn't had specific training in riding a police bike. Health and safety and all that.

Today I read about a blind man in Chorley, not far from Preston, who was tasered by a bobby hunting a man with a Samurai sword. Apparently the bobby mistook the blind man's white stick for a Samurai sword. I can't help wondering if it was the same bobby who refused to ride his bike, but have found no reports that said taser happy cop was on a Halford's mountain bike.

Alternatively maybe the bike bobby had gone for health and safety instruction/training and they'd found that his eyesight was too poor to ride a bike on the open road, hence he managed to mistake a white stick for a Samurai sword.

On a slightly more serious note I can't help wondering why the bobby felt so threatened by the blind man that he felt the need to taser him. After all, if he was too far away to differentiate between a white stick and a Samurai sword then the officer could hardly have been in immediate danger.

So my advice if you visit our beautiful county of Lancashire is to be very careful what you carry, just in case it could be mistaken for a lethal weapon. And if you don't heed that advice I only hope it's a taser toting rather than a gun toting cop that bags you.

And finally will people in the media, the Police Federation and Ed Miliband, now be big enough to admit that the police do actually have a fair proportion of plebs among their ranks?

Andrew Mitchell MP

There are serious issues facing the country, indeed the world, but the media and political classes are obsessing about a government minister having a go at a bobby. Fair enough Mitchell sounds like a prat but please, let's get a sense of proportion and forget about it.

As for the Police Federation banging on about an enquiry well they need to grow up. To use the fact that two police women were murdered in the same week is a cynical and emotive ploy by them and is far worse than anything Mitchell did. The Police Federation might also like to remember  that the incident occurred just after we found out about the police lies and cover-up over Hillsborough. But that wouldn't suit the bobbies' union agenda would it?

Nanny State And Alcohol

So in the run up to Christmas we've had the police launching their annual terror campaign with speed traps set up in an effort to catch the odd driver who had a sherry too many at the office party. Now we've had a group of 'experts' urging the government to bring in a minimum price for alcohol, supposedly to save thousands of lives like Soviet Scotland is doing. Humbug!

I'm tired of whinging 'experts' lecturing and hectoring us about our lifestyles. Who pays for all these nannying ninnies? Oh yes, you and me through our taxes. We all know the dangers of obesity, alcoholism and so on and we make our choices. All this nonsense about minimum price to save us from ourselves is just an excuse, as in Soviet Scotland, to hit us with more tax but 'for our own good'.

So why should I pay more for my Laphroiag or my bottle of Cahors because some piss head in a bedsit is drinking himself to death on cheap cider? Furthermore with higher costs for booze, said piss head would only satisfy the demands of the anti-fat fascists by eating less to spend his money on cider, thus dying earlier anyway. 

The sooner we have a government that gets off our backs, and starves the health fascists and other nannying do-gooders of funding the better for us all. After all, it's mostly the government that drives us to drink in the first place.

Launch Of Annual Police Terror

Don't forget folks, most forces have this week launched their annual police terror campaigns.

There will suddenly be the kind of police numbers on the streets that are only rivalled when we are in the grip of rioters and looters. They will use any excuse to pull you over so they can sniff your breath, just in case you've had a glass of sherry when visiting Auntie Ethel. They'll pull you over on your way to work in case they can catch you over the drink drive limit from the party the night before.

There will be disgustingly emotive TV commercials about children being slaughtered by the thousand by drivers who had an eggnog with their staff before closing the office for Christmas. There'll be ads showing the look of hatred on the face of an angelic five year old when he finds out his father failed a breathalyser, lost his job and has thrown his family into a life of grinding Dickensian poverty.

They'll make those disgusting anti-smoking adverts using kids to try and shame grown ups into giving up smoking look reasonable. Oh yes, the spirit of Joey the Cripple is alive and well and working on public service announcements in  the UK.

Paranoia: The Census 2011, the Police State and Big Brother

"Comrades, fill in your census forms, or it's off to Siberia!"

For the first time in donkeys years I'm not a member of a political party, and I find it very liberating. It has given me an opportunity to reassess things, membership of any party inevitably involves compromise and a responsibility to reluctantly toe the line on some issues. Having said that I will still vote for the Libertarian Party if I have a candidate, apart from the May elections which I am boycotting because of the latest foreign adventure into Libya.

What has disappointed me in recent weeks is the attitude of certain groups I have supported for a long time to the 2011 Census. I think it's a waste of time and money, especially as various parts of the state already have more information about us on numerous databases and I've blogged about this before. To be honest I found the census questionnaire less intrusive than the average job application.

But two organisations have especially disappointed me, NO2ID and Big Brother Watch. I believe both organisations have a valuable role to play as the state becomes ever more intrusive and authoritarian but, as with any campaign, you have to pick your fights. In the last few days they have both banged on about how census data would/could be accessed by MI5. That signals a level of paranoia that I find disconcerting and would make the average member of the public question their campaigns on other, more serious issues.

Via Twitter I have challenged both outfits to point out what on the census form could be of any possible interest to MI5. They have not responded. If you are reading this in the UK you will either have your form ready to complete, or will have already done it. Please, if you agree with NO2ID and Big Brother Watch, let me know, via comments, what you think on the form you would prefer MI5 not to know about you. Obviously I wouldn't expect you to divulge personal info, just mention the question or page number that you find horrendously intrusive.

Rather than asking us if we would like to violently overthrow the government, or even if we think that the policing of demos is excessive it merely asks how we get to work and if we are employed or self employed. There you go Miss Moneypenny, no need to get 007 on to me. I'm self employed and drive to work when I work in Manchester. I bet GCHQ are now going through my blog with a fine tooth comb!

At the same time I had a disagreement with Big Brother Watch on Twitter about today's demo in London against the government's half hearted attempt to clear up Labour's financial mess. They had retweeted a comment that somebody knew lots of people who were not going to the demo today because they are terrified of the police. My response, although more polite, was bollocks! More paranoia I'm afraid.

I accept that the police are not perfect, far from it, but anybody who is too scared of the police to go on a demo should really seek help. I suspect my sister and her hubbie will be on the march today. I don't agree with them and wouldn't go on the march myself, but I know they are not a pair of wimps who are easily scared and would certainly not be intimidated from making a stand for what they believe in by a British Bobby.

I found that nonsense especially disagreeable, verging on the obscene, when you look at what is happening in Egypt, Libya, Yemen, Zimababwe, Bahrein and elsewhere. I wouldn't like to be depending on a bunch of pansies who are scared of the British police if our backs were really up against the wall, would you?

They make the loony wing of the Eurosceptic movement who refer to the EUSSR sound almost sane.

Annual Police Terror

Lancashire's Chief Constable 

I had to pick up my beloved after one of her many 'work's Christmas dos' last night, but to compensate she had won a nice bottle of top notch Vodka.

What wasn't so nice was seeing that the Annual Police Terror had begun with a vengeance. Central Lancaster resembled East Berlin in the Cold War with the goons scouring the place for a for an Osti heading West. Talk about overkill.

Then this morning there would have been police posted on the outskirts of the City Centre stopping people in an effort to catch somebody still over the limit from the night before Did they really join the police to do that kind of thing?

About four years ago I was stopped, in Lancaster surprise, surprise, for using my mobile while driving. I tried to claim I'd been scratching my ear but they didn't buy that, they actually had me on film. Fair cop, and luckily I did't smell of booze from the night before.

But I was pulled by two bobbies in a van with dogs in the back. I don't know what it costs to train and equip two police dog handlers but I would suggest that using them on a Friday morning to mither motorists is not good use of resources. Interestingly the bobby who gave me my ticket agreed with me when I mentioned that to him. He told me that he would prefer to spend his time more usefully but it was his 'higher ups' who made him do this, and he aplogised to me. It was the first time I'd been caught up in the Annual Police Terror and left feeling quite uplifted!

So be very careful if driving in Lancashire between now and Christmas, especially around Lancaster, the Terror has begun.

Voting Open for Prick of the Year 2009

Voting has now started for this blog's Prick of the Year Award, please visit the side bar. You may also like to make a donation to my Christmas charity which is The Prostate Cancer Charity. Again there is a link to the donations page on my side bar.

Most of the people on my poll are pretty obvious. However, a word about Alex. He is the kind of politically correct obsessive who cries RACIST! if you look up to the sky and say: "Oh no, that black cloud looks dodgy". You can find his rather obsessive blog, but I wouldn't recommend it, via a link on yesterday's post, it's very tedious.

Which reminds me of the politically correct pantomime: Precipitation of Indeterminate Colour and the Seven Persons of Diminutive Stature

Annual Police Terror

The Annual Police Terror has officially begun. Traffic filth had a 'Police Drink Drive Check Point' in central Lancaster at 11-00 this morning, no doubt trying to catch people who had enjoyed too good a time last night.

They were also getting belligerent, or at least one of them was, with people they thought had dodgy tax discs. The fella I saw had a fine tax disc, but his windscreen was a little steamed up with condensation. Cue disappointed copper.

Still, I suppose it stops them shooting children playing with toy guns or, as Anonymous pointed out in comments to my post yesterday, Brazilian electricians.

So, it's now time for my traditional Christmas joke about the traffic police, traditional because it's an ancient joke:

Q.What's the difference between a police Range Rover and a hedgehog?
A.The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside.

The Police And The Citizens

As the state encroaches ever further into our lives the police are increasingly seen, by many of us, as a mere tool of the state. They are no longer the idealised Dixon of Dock Green figures that we used to like seeing them as. They increasingly resemble the paramilitary thugs we only used to see in Europe.

If you doubt that I suggest you head to London and join a demo, or go to a high profile football match. Sadly, many perceive the police today as little more than uniformed thugs.

Here is the BBC coverage of the police attack on an innocent man, a man who was wandering around in the wrong place at the wrong time, not even part of the G20 demo, which still couldn't have justified the action of the copper.

OK, so the police didn't beat Mr Tomlinson to death. But he died of a heart attack minutes after the unprovoked attack by one of our 'boys in blue'.

It's Kicking Off-Part III

I've done a couple of posts in recent weeks about the possibility of riots as things in the UK get worse, and there seems to be an increasing number of articles elsewhere also predicting civil disorder. The latest, today, is in the Daily Express. Inevitably class warriors, above is the front cover of Class War, will be preparing already.

With such an authoritarian government rumours of contingency plans involving mobilising the military should not be dismissed.

The news clip below is from June 2008 and predicts 30 years of riots, and that was before most of us knew quite how bad things were going to get.

Annual Police Terror

No sooner do the Christmas decorations go up than traffic plod (pictured left) begins his Scrooge-like terror campaign against the motorist.

I have just got back fom Lancaster where plod are stopping every fourth or fifth motorist for spot checks. It seems that they were out earlier this week stopping people en route to work in the morning. The idea being that they have a quick whiff of your breath in case you are still a bit pissed from a party the night before, or in case you are in the habit of having sherry trifle for brekkie.

I blogged some time ago about how Mrs B was stopped in Lancaster around Christmas last year, plod was most miffed when she was evidently sober as a judge.

So I will now recycle the same old joke:

Q: What's the difference between a police traffic car and a hedgehog?
A: A hedgehog has the pricks on the outside!

Happy New Year

Mrs Beaman thought it time that Misha (left) and Sasha (above) made their debuts so here they are.

As 2007 draws to a close a few ramblings on where we find ourselves. The establishment of a police state continues apace but let's not be too alarmist about it, we are probably now living in a 'special constable' state.

Brown signed away our independence by signing the EU Reform Treaty, or constitution. But our day will come and, in some form or other, we will once again live in a free and independent nation beyond the grasping, corrupt rule of Brussels.

Motorists will soon face two years in clink for using mobiles while driving and the beady eye of the state is now looking towards motorists who smoke, or twiddle with the knobs on their radios whilst driving. Bus lanes should be abolished as should traffic lights which are currently set, in many cities, to cause congestion in order to justify the introduction of charges. Let's scrap speed limits on motorways too.

Of course the monstrous smoking ban came in this summer which should be immediately lifted, as should the hunting ban.

The CBI now admits that industry, in some areas, is recruiting staff from abroad because of the poor quality of our home grown graduates. Let's face it what use is a degree in ferret breeding, window cleaning or golf course management?

Political parties are mired in sleaze and accusations of dodgy donations and loans. Is it all a big ploy to soften a gullible public up to accept, probably without a whimper, taxpayer funding of political parties?

The NHS accepts that it is groaning under the strain of treating over 150,000 foreigners per year. But the government thinks that talking about a few controls on immigrants from outside the EU will pacify the populace. Sorry but the problem is caused by limitless immigration from within the EU.

Despite the ban on handguns gun crime, as well as stabbings, continue to increase. The only people with guns now are criminals and cities like London, Manchester, Liverpool and others become scarier by the day. But slap a hooligan for 'playing' on a war memorial, after the police repeatedly fail to repond, and you get nicked.

The government is now turning to drinkers, after all it has driven most of us to drink and now it wants to control that too. For the first time today I heard the phrase "passive drinker". It does not refer to people getting drunk by sitting next to a drinker but somebody who becomes the victim of a drink fuelled offence. So a wife battered by a drinking husband, or a youth attacked by a drunk on a night out are now referred to as "passive drinkers". Crap! The people of Manchester were investigated by the county authorities in Lancaster over 250 years ago because the people of that fine city seemed to do little but drink and party. Binge drinking is a historical pastime in this country and in this I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, binge drinkers do stop, if they didn't they would be alcoholics, so leave off them.

So enjoy a good drink this New Year and if going out be careful not to become a "passive drinker". I wish you much health and wealth in 2008.

The Annual Police Terror

The late, great writer and humourist Aubron Waugh used to call Christmas the 'annual police terror'. Traffic police hunting in packs to try and track down evil motorists who have had a mince pie with a splash of brandy in it. Setting up road blocks in the morning trying to trap some poor hungover motorist driving to work but still carrying too much alcohol in his system from the night before. Well, just like the shops our wonderful constabulary have started Christmas earlier than ever this year.

Last night my wife was driving us through the centre of Lancaster when, some way ahead, we spotted a police Range Rover, all its lights flashing, pulling away after mithering a taxi driver. We carried on and after about half a mile the self same Range Rover appeared behind us, headlights and blue lights flashing away. My wife slowed down and pulled over but he stayed behind her so she turned a corner, out of the way, and stopped.

There then appeared what can only be described as an obnoxious pillock in a blue uniform who proceeded to patronise her and treat her like a piece of dirt. First he accused her of 'driving erratically'. When a spontaneous "are you joking?" came back to him he replied: " I can assure you I don't often make jokes". Now that I can believe as he did prove himself to be a humourless, self important egomaniac. He then changed the 'driving erratically' to 'veering towards the white line at one point'.

He was very angry that she quite obviously had been nowhere near alcohol that day, his little game was over and he wasn't happy. We eventually continued our journey after a further patronising lecture from our Keystone Cop. No doubt he took his anger out on the next poor motorist he decided to treat like dirt.

Shame how the real police usually appear so pleasant and helpful, although there are bad ones as in any walk of life, but I have yet to encounter a traffic cop who I would put out if he was on fire. An old pal, an ex bobby, once told me that the traffic police, at his station, had to have a seperate table in the canteen because the other police wouldn't sit with them. I can see why!