Tyranny Of The Masses

I was unfortunate enough to hear Health Secretary Alan Johnson on the radio about an hour ago. What a mealy mouthed bastard, and I used to think he was one of the less bad of the undead in the House of Commons.

He was justifying forcing shopkeepers to hide fags under the counter. He thinks that non-smokers are so weak and feeble that the sight of a packet of fags makes them start smoking, especially kids. Utter crap! I pass casinos on a regular basis but would rather rip my eyes out than go in one. I see mucky mags in newsagents but don't buy them. I see booze on shop counters but am not an alcoholic. I see vegetarian food in shops and restaurants but would rather starve to death. And on, and on, and on, and.......

I gave up fags some time ago but have no problem with people smoking in my company, indeed I would regard it as rude and inhospitable to force visitors to my house who smoke outside for a quick fag. It'll soon be easier to buy pot than perfectly legal tobacco. So why don't the govenment just ban it? Because it needs the cash from the ludicrously high tax on tobacco.

But what really riled me was Johnson using the old bollocks justification that "in a survey 80%of the population agreed with us". In that case if 80% of the population think all MPs should be shot can I please fire the gun? No, I thought not. My point being that just because a majority want it doesn't make it right, take the hanging debate over the years for example.

The fascist bastard really angered me!!

Kenyan Obamas

Now, I don't want to sound churlish, but am I the only one who is tired of the race obsession surrounding Obama's victory? Yes he won, and won convincingly, but black people only seem to have voted for him because he is 'black' and white people only seem to have voted for him because they want to be seen to be progressive and cool. Witness the drooling over him on Question Time last night with Bonnie Greer almost weeping with emotion whenever she mentioned his name, and the other panellists not far behind.

If you were Obama's white family wouldn't you be a little pissed off to have been shunted into the background so utterly completely. He's black, don't mention the white mother any more than you mention Bob Marley's white grandfather. Oh yes, apart from when his white grandmother was dying and he could go for the sympathy vote.

To me Obama is a man whose mother was white and whose father was black, end of story. If a white man became leader of a black country you can bet the world wouldn't be drooling over him just becaue of his colour. And if his father was from Accrington I bet the people of Accrington wouldn't be carrying on like this.

Empty Rhetoric Awards

This one's for Barack's old mate Gordon Brown.

Middlesbrough's Lazarus

This is a cracking story from Ananova. I once knew Salford's Lazarus.

A few years back I had a summer job in Salford and worked with the most foul-mouthed little old fella I'd ever come across. He also had the bandiest legs I'd ever seen, in fact the whole set-up, being under some railway arches, was more than a little dickensian. There was even a portrait of Mrs Saxe-Cobourg-Gotha on the office wall that vibrated and almost fell off the wall every time a train went overhead.

Anyway the gist is that Noah, the little bandy fella, had also been declared dead a couple of years after his boat had been sunk in the last world war. When the war ended a grand memorial service was held in Salford Cathedral and, with perfect timing, he returned and walked into the church just as the service began. It seems he had not fancied going back into battle after facing drowning and spent the last two years of the war living it up with various hospitable tribes around North Africa.

I often wondered if this was myth but I met his daughter some years later who confirmed it. She knew straightaway who I meant when I referred to once having worked with the most foul-mouthed little fella in Salford.

Is It April 1st?

Here is a link to the Travelodge website. Here you will find an article about the above. Yes, Travelodge have developed 'space age' pyjamas. It really isn't April 1st but I can't help wondering if somebody is playing games with us. Surely these are just photos of people from a third rate 1970s TV sci-fi series.

And does Travelodge really term itself "a retailer of sleep"? If so can I have 5 hours worth please? And does it really have a "Director of Sleep"? If so can he authorise the staff to let me takeaway my 5 hours of sleep rather than sleeping in?

One thing is for sure, if I had to wear pajjies like that I would feel far too big a prat to sleep a wink, even in a room on my own! What if there was a fire and you had to evacuate the place?