Nanny State-Up Yours!

My beloved's mother is in rehab. No, she's not some kind of geriatric Amy Winehouse, she was rendered housebound around five years ago by our incompetent, nationalised health system and earlier this year landed herself in hospital again following a fall.

Anyway, earlier this week I went with my beloved to visit her mum and we took her outside in her wheelchair for a quick fag. We settled her in the sun, she put her fag of choice between her lips but didn't have a light, her lighter had been confiscated by the 'care staff'. We found her a light and she had a satisfying puff.

Today my beloved went to see her mum and had to replenish her stash of weed, so she went to Sainsbury's for ten Silk Cut (purple). They were closetted behind white screens away from the gaze of the public like hand maidens of the Lord, or vestel virgins secreted away from the gaze of sinners. The cashier respectfully opened the protective blinds on the magical goods behind but came back to inform Mrs B that they had no tens in Silk Cut (purple).

Mrs B asked to look at what other similar fags they had but was told by the state supply operative (supplier) that she couldn't let my beloved look at the products as that would constitute the operative "encouraging her to consume tobacco". She was directed to a price list at the end of the counter.

If my beloved wasn't a worldly wise ex-smoker she may have looked at the price of Park Drive, Senior Service or Woodbine and thought: "Oooh, I'll treat my mum to some of those, they must be really good quality at that price!!" Don't suppose the health fascists think like that that not living in the real world.

Despite the best (or worst) efforts of the NHS my m-in-law still survives at 88. Surely she should be allowed a fag in peace.

Health Fascists Are Everywhere!

Have you ever wondered how much of your taxes is spent on those mithering, badgering health warnings that are popping up like a plague of pox all over the country? Have you ever wondered how much of your tax money is spent on those mithering, badgering 'studies' that we are told about on a daily basis that tell us how we are going to die early if we eat, drink and breathe?

I'm reaching the end of my tether. I am considering how to stop it without landing myself in Strangeways.


This morning the BBC was telling us we will all die if we eat pork pies and bacon. This week, after decades of being told to eat five portions of fruit and veg a day or we'll die, the dentists are telling us that we will lose all our teeth if we eat our five a day. Then I suppose we'll be told that only eating liquidised food, or food we can suck, will lead to a premature death.

These last few days I've been working silly hours with ludicrously early starting times in different parts of the North West. This means I listen to radio a great deal and sit in traffic jams. On Friday night I went to bed early in a rage because I was sick of those adverts on TV telling me that if my 'poo' is soft I've got bowel cancer, in my case it's usually a dodgy vindaloo the night before. But I've ranted about that before. So on Saturday I left home at 5-30am to get to Liverpool, where I thought I was going to join a riot for a film being made there and would be able to legally kick a Scouser and get paid for it. As it happens I was part of a crowd attacking a prison van with child murderers in it, and had a great laugh with the Scousers I was working with.

Anyway, on the M58 into Liverpool I had road rage. I was listening to a commercial radio station and an advert came on telling me that if my 'poo'was soft I had bowel cancer. I screamed and turned the radio off. I joined the A59 when I left the motorway and got stuck behind a bus. My eyes wandered from the back seat of the bus to an advert beneath it telling me that if my 'poo' was soft I had bowel cancer. I was about to jump out and rip the ad off the bus when the traffic lights changed to green. I screamed and thumped my dashboard.

So the next time you hear about some poor soul with a terrible disease who has been refused drugs on the grounds of cost, remember that all the money has gone on idiot campaigns to make us all hypochondriacs and paranoics. We must be wasting thousands and thousands of GP hours, and millions of pounds, going to see about our bowel cancer when it's nothing more than Ghandi's Revenge.

I think as a civilisation we are becoming morbidly self-obsessed. Probably a symptom of our moral decline.

Fat Fighters on the NHS

Last week I had an exchange of banter with my old mate Steve Allison. He believed in the abolition of the seatbelt law, but advocated the charging of costs to resulting accident victims if they ended up in hospital. I disagreed with making them pay for treatment and we agreed to disagree.

Steve has now been elected to UKIP's National Executive Committee. I'm sure some much needed commonsense will make a difference. But I can't help wondering what happens if, as is highly likely, the experience drives him to some kind of mental breakdown. As it's self inflicted would he be happy to pay for treatment I wonder? Only kidding, congratulations Steve and good luck.

There are various areas where I completely agree with the principle of not providing free treatment on the NHS. One such area was highlighted in the media this week, fat people. I'm no skinny beanpole by any stretch of the imagination, but I paid good money on great food and wine to get the size I am, not obese but definitely over weight. If I now decide I need to lose weight I will lose the weight, as I gained the weight, by my own effort and not expect you, the taxpayer, to foot the bill. Fatties should get a grip and find some willpower, the NHS wasn't founded to pander to your weakness but to help people in genuine medical need.

I am, even as an ex smoker, sick of the way that smokers continue to be oppressed and bullied. However, why the hell should the NHS spend money on 'smoking cessation services' as they call them? If somebody wants to give up smoking then use your willpower and stop, as you will if you really want to. I don't see why our taxes should be squandered on people too weak to do what I presume they must want to do if they contact their local 'NHS cessation service'. Wimps!

Then there is your 'gender realignment' treatment. Of course they use these euphemisms to mask what is really involved. If Arthur one day wakes up, and decides he wants to be Martha instead, then fine, that's his/her prerogative. But don't expect to have your widget lopped off out of my taxes, go private, or privates! And before anybody, usually with a vested interest, whines about not having treatment leading to psychiatric problems that cost the NHS much needed resources, that argument doesn't stand up to scrutiny considering the years and years of physical and mental treatment of transexuals as they change sex.

Any cosmetic treatment should be only available privately and not on the NHS. Of the two other issues that concern me specifically, abortion as a contraception and the very existence of the NHS itself, I will be gassing off about both in the coming days and weeks.

Smokers? Evil Bastards!

I used to have a friend who had a bit of an interest in conspiracy theories, not the completely loony David Icke style, slightly more credible, but still conspiracy theories. One of his more interesting ones was about the venemous assault on smokers, this was in the 1980s before the smoking ban.

His theory was that the increased incidence of cancer had been concerning governments for a long time, they were desperate to find the cause. Eventually they found a link, so his theory went, and the evil cause of many forms of cancer were petro-chemicals. That was that then.

But no, the governmnent then looked at what it could do. The petro-chemical industry, as well as being crucial to our existence, was extremely powerful. The government was scared it couldn't win a battle to clean that particular industry up. So what could they do?

Eventually they had the idea of creating a scapegoat in order to placate the population at large, who were increasingly concerned at cancer levels. Hey presto, the government decided to hammer the tobacco industry instead.

The second strand to his theory was that the government, in attacking smoking and the tobacco industry, would use it to assess the power of propaganda in a free and democratic society. Which is what got me onto this post today.

As for the first part of his theory I doubt it very much, although I do think there has been exaggeration of the effects of smoking, especially passive smoking. Wherever you have a new ideology you get the zealots who go to the far extremes.

What got me mulling this over again was seeing this week, for the first time, the government's latest propaganda attack on Britain's last, legally oppressed and officially villified minority, the smokers. If you haven't seen it the goverment commissars are not happy with just banning smoking and forcing people outside buildings for a drag, oh no, that isn't nearly enough. They are now ordering you to smoke seven miles (or was it seven paces?) from the building you have just been kicked out of. You see, the smoke may just seep through the bricks, or waft through an open window thus killing the occupants.

The propaganda element of this theory has worked incredibly well. In fact that element could have seen off smoking but Blair, the great dictator, just had to prove he was boss and brought in the ban. But what effect has the propaganda had?

Two personal examples prove the success of the propaganda. We have friends who still smoke, I gave up about three years ago as did my beloved. But when our friends come for a meal they insist on going out onto our balcony for a fag. We insist that we are not the tedious ex-smokers who claim to need the smell of smoke surgically removing and have to burn the curtains and redecorate the house when they've gone. But they have been conditioned not to smoke indoors any more. Although the power of numerous bottles of Cahors often reverses the effect of the propaganda by about 2-00am!

The second example is a chap a few doors down who, even in the blizzards last winter, could be seen shivering on his doorstep, less than seven yards from his home admittedy, no longer allowed by himself or whoever, to smoke in the comfort of his own home. I can't help wishing he would find some backbone and sit in the comfort of his armchair, with a nice glass of single malt, drawing on a Marlboro or Benson and Hedges.

So I finish with the view that not only has the propaganda about tobacco worked wonderfully well, but it has also shown what a nation of intolerant, self-obsessed wimps we have become, ready to ask how high when the state tells us to jump rather than sticking two fingers up in the great old English tradition.

Health Fascists and Bus Shelters

Waiting to be picked up for a short break we huddled in a bus shelter. Unbelievably we found the health fascists have been at work. One on each side panel. Hardly an enclosed space is it?

Wimp Nation

At the theatre in Manchester last night, we were greeted with the notice that you see on the left. It really made me despair at what a nation of wet, drippy, wimps we have really become.

No doubt if they hadn't put the warnings up some bloodsucker, in about 6 months time, would have sued the theatre claiming it was that unexpected bang at the play that brought on his eventual heart attack.

As far as the smoking goes, some quisling, grass, snitch whatever you want to call them, would have phoned the police hotline to tip them off about what they thought was illegal smoking. That or some over-dramatic tart in the tenth row would have started exaggeratedly coughing and spluttering as if choking to death as soon as a fag was lit. Said tart would then have sent a dry cleaning bill to the theatre claiming her clothes reeked of second-hand tobacco when she got home, and she'd even had to wash the curtains too!

And to think there are soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq living in crap, seeing terrible things and suffering terribly themselves, many coming home in their coffins. Is that really the kind of thing they are fighting for?

Tyranny Of The Masses

I was unfortunate enough to hear Health Secretary Alan Johnson on the radio about an hour ago. What a mealy mouthed bastard, and I used to think he was one of the less bad of the undead in the House of Commons.

He was justifying forcing shopkeepers to hide fags under the counter. He thinks that non-smokers are so weak and feeble that the sight of a packet of fags makes them start smoking, especially kids. Utter crap! I pass casinos on a regular basis but would rather rip my eyes out than go in one. I see mucky mags in newsagents but don't buy them. I see booze on shop counters but am not an alcoholic. I see vegetarian food in shops and restaurants but would rather starve to death. And on, and on, and on, and.......

I gave up fags some time ago but have no problem with people smoking in my company, indeed I would regard it as rude and inhospitable to force visitors to my house who smoke outside for a quick fag. It'll soon be easier to buy pot than perfectly legal tobacco. So why don't the govenment just ban it? Because it needs the cash from the ludicrously high tax on tobacco.

But what really riled me was Johnson using the old bollocks justification that "in a survey 80%of the population agreed with us". In that case if 80% of the population think all MPs should be shot can I please fire the gun? No, I thought not. My point being that just because a majority want it doesn't make it right, take the hanging debate over the years for example.

The fascist bastard really angered me!!

Elf and Safety for Santa

The Nanny State doesn't even have a breather for Christmas with this news from the Sun via Ananova.

Once, when working from home, my employer informed me that I was going to be visited by a health and safety wallah to check my workstation conformed to requirements. My workstation was a desk, computer, chair and phone in the spare bedroom. They got short shrift as I refused to allow an unecessary bureaucrat into my home.

There flowed an exchange of emails the gist being, on my side, that if I couldn't set up a desk and chair properly I really shouldn't be in the job. They quoted pseudo-legal jargon to which I said that they could then get me a proper office outside my home, with all the associated costs, and they could inspect to their heart's content.

I ended up signing a disclaimer, stating that I wouldn't sue them if I crippled myself because my chair hadn't been checked by 'an expert'.

Health Fascists

This really has pissed me off. I heard about it yesterday when I had a break from grafting and was having a brew at a butty wagon.

When will people wake up to this creeping fascist state and actually do something rather than sit in the house or the pub whining. If I want to eat rabbit food I won't go to a roadside butty wagon or a greasy spoon. If the owners of aforementioned dining facilities want to start selling yoghurt and rabbit food then that's their decision.

What I hope one of them does is humanely put down the first environmental health/salad/yoghurt inspector who turns up at his establishment and proceed to spit roast him and serve him on burger buns with fried onions at £2-00 a time. I'll have some of that.

And if they insist on forcing butty wagons to sell stuff they were not invented for then why not force veggie cafes to serve me a nice rare sirloin or duck breast? After all who looks healthier to you, somebody who loves a full fried brekkie or a pasty faced, skinny, anaemic looking veggie?

The Perils of Poetry Reading

Step forward Elizabeth Bailey, principal environmental health officer for East Cambridgeshire District Council. Now pelt the old bag with rotten eggs, tomatoes and rotting fish.

Here is the story of how this Hitler in skirts has banned a poetry reading group from holding readings in an Ely pub.

Here's what the bureaucratic bitch said:

"We have licences for all sorts of reasons - fire and police need to check it is safe - it is not just us being petty. There need to be certain checks in place."

And here's what the pub landlord had to say:

"It's trivial and pathetic. We've got a licence for 200 burly men to bounce around to whatever music they want, but not for a small number of quiet people to have a talk.

"When they give recitals it's not even amplified. They just get up and speak."

Ms Bailey should be immediately suspended, preferably from the same lamppost as Russell Brand.

Hot Curry

I don't tend to get paranoid about restaurant stories, the ones about how this or that restaurant was fined for some breach of hygiene regulations. I tend to work on experience, if it gives me Delhi belly I tend not to return. Indeed some of the best restaurants I came across on my travels were in Paraguay where there were no hygiene rules, the market ruled supreme, if you poisoned your customers they stopped going and you went bust. And it worked!

This story, from the Manchester Evening News, slightly concerned me however. If you care to read it the end of the article mentions Al Bilal restaurant in Rusholme being fined for breaches of hygiene regulations. Some months ago now I was in Manchester on UKIP business with Phil Griffiths, North West Chairman. Like me Phil is a curry fanatic so I took him to the curry mile and we ended up in Al Bilal. We did have some intestinal reaction the next day and I have not returned.

On Thursday night there was a programme on TV called 'Rogue Restaurants'. One of the dodgy ones featured was on Brick Lane. Mrs Beaman immediately declared that it would be The Clifton, sadly she was absolutely right. This is the place where I took a dozen UKIP members from the North West before last year's conference in East London. I have never had a reaction from The Clifton but promise not to take any other UKIP members to Indian restaurants of my choice.

Smoking and Brainwashing

I find the current spate of anti-smoking ads on TV quite disturbing, not to say dishonest. The ones I mean are the ones that tell smokers that they cannot possibly give up 'without help', and who's there to help? Yes the government, in the shape of the NHS. You really can't do anything without the nanny state under New Labour!

One thing I object to is the patronising tone of the adverts. It is possible to give up 'without help', I did it last March after smoking 20 a day for 30 years. I know plenty of other people who gave up 'without help' too. Indeed many of us would have given up earlier, but the more the state nagged and whined at us, the more determined we became to continue. And, having recently had my lungs examined, they show no signs of me ever having smoked.

I also object to taxes being wasted on medicines, support groups and whatever other paraphernalia the state funds to help people give up. Let them pay themselves if they really want to give up, it'd be cheaper than buying fags. And if people don't want to give up for God's sake leave them alone to get on with it.

All this government brainwashing has had a truly sinister result that is often overlooked, the vile and ultimately dishonest attitude of so many people to smokers. I've seen people 100 yards away, in the open air, suddenly start coughing and spluttering when I've lit up. Then there are the weirdoes who claim that after being in the company of smokers they have to shower when they get home, and send their clothes to the laundry because of the smell.

We've had friends to dinner since we gave up smoking (Mrs B has too) and they refused to smoke in the house insisting on going onto the balcony for a fag between courses. They thought they were being thoughtful but we really had to convince them, and several bottles of wine helped, that we had no problem with them smoking at the table. We didn't have to shower before bed, or change the curtains next day, because of the stench, but it really highlighted the power of propaganda.

So I still wish FOREST good luck in their campaign.

National No Smoking Day

No idea what Al Gore is smoking here but don't go near him when he exhales, sure it must be causing global warming.

Go on have a cig!

UKIP North West Spring Conference (Part II)

Hamish Howitt , who is currently being hounded by the health fascists for allowing people to smoke in his Blackpool pub, will be speaking at the UKIP NW Spring Conference on March 29 in Morecambe.