Peter Kay v Liam Gallagher

I remember seeing the following clip and Peter Kay, already a comedy hero of mine, went even higher in my estimation when I did.

Anybody who calls either Gallagher brother a 'knobhead' deserves to be immortalised, not least as the pair of muppets support Manchester City. I wonder what that makes Carlos Tevez?

There Are Comedians-Then There Is Simon Amstell

Comedians are supposed to be funny, I think the clue is in the name. Comic, comedy, comedian.  A comedy is something that is humorous, a comedian is somebody who is humorous and makes people laugh. People like Lee Mack and Peter Kay today  are fine examples of people who make other people laugh. They are comedians.

Then you get other people such as Simon Amstell and Marcus Brigstocke. Both smarty arsed people who are tediously smug, self-satisfied and mind numbingly not funny. But for some bizarre reason they are called 'comedians'. In the clip below Simon Amstell sat cross legged on the sofa, obviously assuming it made him look avant garde and cutting edge. I thought it just made him look like a curly haired anorexic Buddha in dodgy glasses.

I'm not in the least bit socialist, and am certainly no class warrior, at least I don't think I am. But whenever I see Amstell or Brigstocke I imagine them cutting their 'comedy teeth' in a minor public school where their peers found cruelty to fags highly amusing, and those two must have been extremely cruel to fags. The problem is they have arrested devlopment and still have that mentality, hence the clip below. The particularly tasteless line comes near the end. If you don't know, the guest they are about to introduce is the singer Russell Watson, who has had two years of treatment for a brain tumour.



I saw this clip which was on live TV yesterday morning. What isn't shown sadly, is Watson's response when the interviewer asked him about Amstel's remark. He replied along the lines of: "Well I just passed him as I came on, but he's too small to punch". A rather sharper put down than anything Amstel could muster I suspect.

Admittedly comedy is a matter of personal taste, and there are obviously people who find Amstel, and even Brigstocke faintly amusing, otherwise they wouldn't sell their DVDs or tickets to their shows. To those people I say stop wasting your time. Watch the following interview, with a really funny fella, and find out what a real comedian does. And he doesn't sit cross legged either!

Peter Kay in Warrington

The joy of Twitter. I follow Peter Kay and he Tweeted, or 'his people' probably did, that he is doing two warm up shows next week in Warrington before starting the next leg of his arena tour. The theatre only holds 200 people so it will be what you might call intimate. Tickets went on sale at 10-00am and had gone before 10-05.

Two tickets purchased for yours truly and my beloved. Get in there! Here's a clip of the great man at work:



Can't wait.

Proceeds from the two Warrington shows (Mon and Tues) go to the Madison Allan Appeal.

The Police State

The police state manifests itself in all kinds of ways, some bigger some smaller. Yesterday we were in Lancaster and checked out a new bar and restaurant, the Dalton Rooms. There is a picture of the front of the building in the gallery on their website.

The way the police state manifests itself here is in front of the bar. There is a large covered terrace affair that is roped off from the street with tables and chairs in it. I thought it was a very civilised smoking area now poor old smokers are forced to huddle up outside pubs and bars in all weathers. But no, smoking is not allowed.

The sign on the wall in this terrace area makes it clear that it is not the bar owners or staff responsible, but the authorities. The sign informs customers that smoking is not allowed on the terrace only on the pavement outside the actual premises. So you can take a very short step onto the pavement for a smoke. Fine, but you will get nicked if you take your drink with you because drinking on the street is illegal.

So you need to straddle the rope, lean one way to take a drag on your cigarette, then lean the other way to have a slurp of your pint. Just shows how petty minded the authorities can be.

I wonder when they will ban class TV adverts like the following. After all, we need protecting from alcohol as well as nicotine!

Friday Funday

Friday Funday

Another week, where's it gone? Wherever it's gone time for a giggle. A classic from yet another great Lancastrian comedian. This one is about dunking (dipping) your biscuits in your brew (cup of tea):



Here is Michael McIntyre with his observations about Scotland and the Scots:

Friday Funday

At the moment the sun's shining, God's in his heaven and all's well with the world. So it's time for a bonus with a bit of Friday fun, starting with Peter Kay:



Then a bit more mellow with This Is How It Feels by Inspiral Carpets live in Glasgow:



Finally here is a tremendous interview with Morrissey, kicking Jonafan Woss and politicians. It was when he was promoting You Are The Quarry about three years ago, it really is worth a butchers:



And if you liked that here is the second part, where he talks about us, his fans. And there's a clip of Harry Hill doing Morrissey on Stars In Their Eyes:

Emotional Incontinence

On breakfast news this morning I saw the emotional cripples from X Factor. I was watching because I had heard that the new Geraldine (aka Peter Kay)video of his/her Christmas song was going to be shown. As it happens I missed it.

Now, forgive me but I thought show business was a pretty tough business, from what I saw of the misfits in X Factor, albeit about 30 seconds of it, they will spend the rest of their lives in the Priory if they have a hit single. There were so many tears, from the men and the women, I really feared the flow of moisture would get into the electrics and blow up the studio.

Perhaps they should see a psychologist before they are allowed onto a reality TV show. Mind you, stopping the emotional cripples and nitwits would probably spoil the sado-masochistic appeal of the genre.