Following the death of Michael Jackson I have received a torrent of jokes by text. I'm not of a delicate disposition so thoroughly enjoyed them, and there was a steady flow to keep me tittering over the weekend and even last night.
I have now discovered a fantastic website that has sick jokes on a whole range of topics, many of which may be regarded as taboo or of particularly poor taste in certain company. I commend to you the following website:
Sickipedia
Please note: If you are one of those emotionally incontinent Jackson fans who wails on the telly and builds a shrine do not, under any circumstances, follow the link.
If you are prone to legal action because you are easily upset by something, then please do not follow the link.
If you are a right mardy who is easily offended, then want whatever offended you banned, please do not follow the link.
If you are prone to uncontrollable giggling that makes you feel like you are about to have some kind of fit, then this site is probably for you. But do not blame me if it does tip you into some kind of serious tittering side-effect that involves the calling of para-medics.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Weedkiller? You're nicked!
Now, the fella in this article does sound like a complete fruitcake admittedly. But let's suppose you are into lawn tennis, would having tennis balls and weedkiller in your bag make you a danger to the public?
The quote above, from the article, is a little worrying.
Two further counts allege he possessed an explosive device "with intent to endanger life" and that he had explosives, namely weedkiller.
The quote above, from the article, is a little worrying.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Another Tax, The Bastards
Yesterday I got home to find a letter from Lancaster City Council, the bastards in the title.
It was informing me that I had to pay £45 for 'Second Hand Goods Registration', the tax in the title.
The reason the council are trying to rob me of even more cash is that I have a stall at Morecambe Antiques and Collectables. This is an indoor market where you pay rent, leave your goods on your stall and there is one payment desk where people pay for the goods. It's a great concept enabling people to develop a little sideline or even develop it as part of a bigger venture, but the key is you don't need to be there to sell your stuff. My stall has secondhand books on it and in six months plus, has barely broken even. Things are just picking up a little but it has been more a hobby than anything.
Lancaster City Council recently sent a member of their licensing stasi to snoop there, hence the letter demanding money with menace that I have recived. The menace being that if I don't cough up they will prosecute me. It seems that the Licensing Regulatory Committee agreed this form of theft on 25 March 2004.
As a consequence I have decided there is no point continuing my little venture. OK £45 wouldn't break the bank, but when I'm making no money from it anyway it is a point of principle.
Fair enough it's hardly on the scale of Woolworth's closing down. But it is my very own, very small experience of how the bureaucrats screw up business. And the few people who wanted to pay £1 for one of my quality secondhand books will now be deprived of that opportunity. I shall be taking my stock to a local charity shop.
I've been told that in Lancashire anybody who does two or more car boot sales in a week also has to pay this legalised theft.The licensing stasi tour the car boot sales clocking car registrations. And I thought traffic wardens/police were scum.
It was informing me that I had to pay £45 for 'Second Hand Goods Registration', the tax in the title.
The reason the council are trying to rob me of even more cash is that I have a stall at Morecambe Antiques and Collectables. This is an indoor market where you pay rent, leave your goods on your stall and there is one payment desk where people pay for the goods. It's a great concept enabling people to develop a little sideline or even develop it as part of a bigger venture, but the key is you don't need to be there to sell your stuff. My stall has secondhand books on it and in six months plus, has barely broken even. Things are just picking up a little but it has been more a hobby than anything.
Lancaster City Council recently sent a member of their licensing stasi to snoop there, hence the letter demanding money with menace that I have recived. The menace being that if I don't cough up they will prosecute me. It seems that the Licensing Regulatory Committee agreed this form of theft on 25 March 2004.
As a consequence I have decided there is no point continuing my little venture. OK £45 wouldn't break the bank, but when I'm making no money from it anyway it is a point of principle.
Fair enough it's hardly on the scale of Woolworth's closing down. But it is my very own, very small experience of how the bureaucrats screw up business. And the few people who wanted to pay £1 for one of my quality secondhand books will now be deprived of that opportunity. I shall be taking my stock to a local charity shop.
I've been told that in Lancashire anybody who does two or more car boot sales in a week also has to pay this legalised theft.The licensing stasi tour the car boot sales clocking car registrations. And I thought traffic wardens/police were scum.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Banksy Or The Biennale?
Sadly won't be back to Venice this year so will have to visit Bristol to see the Banksy exhibition instead of the Biennale.
Following is a quote from an excellent article on OpenDemocracy.net by Tina Beattie :
If that doesn't tempt you to get to Bristol then watch the following trailer:
Following is a quote from an excellent article on OpenDemocracy.net by Tina Beattie :
I was walking past a Marks & Spencer store towards Edgware Road tube station in central London recently when a security-guard rushed out of the shop and ran past me. As I drew nearer, I saw that he was going to help his colleague who had apprehended a shoplifter. It was an old tramp who had, it seems, stolen a quarter-litre of milk. I joined a small group of onlookers as the guards wrestled the man to the ground, pulling off his shirt in the process, while the rest of us urged them to leave him alone.The guards ignored us, manhandling the man for several minutes and then finally letting him go, leaving him lying half-naked on the ground. One of the onlookers paid for the milk, and the guards went back into the shop while the dazed old man struggled to sit up, still clutching his meagre prize.
I went into the shop and complained to a manager. He was well-trained in the art of placating customers, giving me a smooth-tongued response. Yes, the guards were perhaps a little over-enthusiastic, but the man was a persistent offender who was well-known to them, and they have a duty to stop shoplifters. I protested and eventually left, but the incident has continued to haunt me.
A Bristol homecoming
Banksy understands that haunting perhaps better than any other contemporary British artist. His new exhibition at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery - Banksy Versus Bristol Museum - is defiant, witty and courageous. It is a triumph of dissenting liberality over the increasingly authoritarian regimes which seek to control our diminishing spaces of democracy and freedom.
If that doesn't tempt you to get to Bristol then watch the following trailer:
Friday Funday
Don't get too maudling, try this, from the genius that is Morrissey. Death of a Disco Dancer:
Then imagine Julia Goldswothy v Caroline Flint:
Then imagine Julia Goldswothy v Caroline Flint:
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Camp Commandant
If the Village People had taken over a whole country then this photograph would make sense. The construction worker, the highway cop etc. etc., and the dictator of an oil rich Islamic desert state surrounded by 200 Amazonian lady bodyguards. That fella must have had some strange dreams when he was a lad.Yes, Gaddafi, that uniform could be straight from Carry on Dictating or'Allo 'Allo.
It seems he has pitched his Bedouin tent in a park in Rome on a state visit and demonstrators have plastered the surrounding area with 'No Camping' posters. But you know, I can't help thinking that Gaddafi, despite the dodgy things he's done, is just taking the piss.
He must be laughing his nuts off at the rest of the world and it's great that he is seen here shaking hands with Berlusconi, because I think he is just taking the piss too.
God preserve us from serious politicians like Blair, he gave us Iran and Afghanistan.
MPs In Denial-Or Just Lying!
Our MPs seem unable to accept the truth or, perhaps more accurately the bloody obvious. Even during the campaign to elect a new speaker Margaret Beckett was making excuses for MPs involved in the expenses scandal. In typical socialist mode she was trying to make the MPs out to be the victims, remember her performance on Question Time?
Now Jon Cruddas is claiming that it is our first past the post voting system that is allowing extremists like the BNP to be elected. In an interview with the Fabian Society he said:
Actually Jon, the BNP were elected under a system of proportional representation, largely because people are sick of the mess the three old parties have made of this country. I know somebody who voted BNP because he thinks the country is overcrowded but is sick of traditional politicians branding anybody who questions immigration 'racist'. He was also sick of traditional politicians telling him not to vote BNP rather than telling him what they have to offer.
So our intellectul pygmies and moral bankrupts in Westminster blame the system for the expenses scandal and now for the BNP getting two MEPs elected. Guess what pygmies? I blame you. It's time the three old parties, and most of our overweening state, were flushed down the toilet and we started all over again.
Now Jon Cruddas is claiming that it is our first past the post voting system that is allowing extremists like the BNP to be elected. In an interview with the Fabian Society he said:
"I always used to think that first past the post choked off the space for extremism, I now think it creates it."
Actually Jon, the BNP were elected under a system of proportional representation, largely because people are sick of the mess the three old parties have made of this country. I know somebody who voted BNP because he thinks the country is overcrowded but is sick of traditional politicians branding anybody who questions immigration 'racist'. He was also sick of traditional politicians telling him not to vote BNP rather than telling him what they have to offer.
So our intellectul pygmies and moral bankrupts in Westminster blame the system for the expenses scandal and now for the BNP getting two MEPs elected. Guess what pygmies? I blame you. It's time the three old parties, and most of our overweening state, were flushed down the toilet and we started all over again.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Bugger The Burqa?
I have had a couple of meetings this week at a hotel that gives away the Independent newspaper, to be honest I'd never buy it but when it's free, well why not?
I did find an interesting article in it today by Sophie Morris, all about women wearing the burqa. Following is a quote from the article:
On Monday, President Sarkozy took issue with the proliferation of women wearing the burqa in France, weighing into the debate on whether, as a secular country, the French Republic might outlaw the veiling of one's body from head to toe in public. "The burqa is not a religious sign," he said.
"It is a sign of subservience, a sign of debasement... in our country we cannot accept that women be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all social life, deprived of all identity."
I instinctively dislike the burqa but believe it to be a matter of individual choice, I'd prefer women not to wear it but ultimately they should decide. I've no doubt we all do things others dislike but individual freedom needs preserving rather than crushing. I do find it strange, however, in these days of security obsession for banks and other institutions to allow masked women, assuming they are all women, to wander in and out at will, but that's another issue.
We all know it's not a religious necessity but Sarkozy is wrong, it is a 'religious sign' just as the crucifix many of us wear is a 'religious sign' but not a necessity imposed by our faith. The burqa is just a bit more obvious than a crucifix and, inevitably, provokes stronger reactions. But then the French have always had an unhealthy acceptance of the dominant and authoritarian nature of their state.
What I do find highly amusing, and thank the burka wearers for it, is to see feminists performing ideolgical contortions trying to balance feminism with multiculturalism in relation to the burka. Now that is fun.
Hypocrites, Dickheads And Frauds
Last night we were discussing politicos, largely because after being involved in politics for 30 years, I still get thoroughly disillusioned and disappointed with politicians, and not just MPs.
Politics seems to attract a higher proportion of dickheads and frauds than any other activity. What I can't decide is whether politics attracts unsavoury types or whether politics just brings out the unsavoury, unattractive element that is there in so many people but is usually dormant. Having said that I would say that the majority of people in politics, the foot soldiers or volunteers, are highly principled but are let down by the professional wings of their parties.
There is certainly a large amount of ego massaging in politics and, being a sociable activity, lots of opportunity to drink to excess and fall for the associated tempatations, especially in the field of sex. It's strange the number of politicos who stray from their spouses, proving them to be untrustworthy to their nearest and dearest, but expect the electorate, meaning you and I, to put our trust in them.
So the following is dedicated to the dickeads and frauds in politics. You know who you are:
Politics seems to attract a higher proportion of dickheads and frauds than any other activity. What I can't decide is whether politics attracts unsavoury types or whether politics just brings out the unsavoury, unattractive element that is there in so many people but is usually dormant. Having said that I would say that the majority of people in politics, the foot soldiers or volunteers, are highly principled but are let down by the professional wings of their parties.
There is certainly a large amount of ego massaging in politics and, being a sociable activity, lots of opportunity to drink to excess and fall for the associated tempatations, especially in the field of sex. It's strange the number of politicos who stray from their spouses, proving them to be untrustworthy to their nearest and dearest, but expect the electorate, meaning you and I, to put our trust in them.
So the following is dedicated to the dickeads and frauds in politics. You know who you are:
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Police State-Update
The police state is tightening its grip with the police fighting to hold ever more data for ever longer on our records. From Teletext:
This is why somebody who received an unconditional discharge in 1982, under Section 10 of the Public Order Act for example, still has to declare it under the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act because a CRB check might show it up.
What's even more disturbing is that many public order offences disappear from your record after 10 years under NACPO guidelines. Yes the police themselves decide that. But the example above was on a political demonstration, so somewere the decision was made to keep that on the record even 27 years later, despite NACPO guidelines.
Have we really reached the stage where security depends upon keeping minor blemishes on peoples' records for decades? If so I suggest that the state and the police are both damaged beyond repair and need abolishing.
PS: Section 10 of the Public Order Act is a catch all. It means roughly: "Threatening or abusive language or behaviour that could lead to a breach of the peace".
Old criminal records of minor offences aid in the fight against crime and must not be deleted, Greater Manchester Police has told the Court of Appeal.
The force, and four others, is fighting a ruling that holding them does not comply with the Data Protection Act.
Their lawyer David Jones said records are vital for police to evaluate risks and protect the public from crime.
This is why somebody who received an unconditional discharge in 1982, under Section 10 of the Public Order Act for example, still has to declare it under the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act because a CRB check might show it up.
What's even more disturbing is that many public order offences disappear from your record after 10 years under NACPO guidelines. Yes the police themselves decide that. But the example above was on a political demonstration, so somewere the decision was made to keep that on the record even 27 years later, despite NACPO guidelines.
Have we really reached the stage where security depends upon keeping minor blemishes on peoples' records for decades? If so I suggest that the state and the police are both damaged beyond repair and need abolishing.
PS: Section 10 of the Public Order Act is a catch all. It means roughly: "Threatening or abusive language or behaviour that could lead to a breach of the peace".
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Mary Seacole
Another gold nugget in the Times Online from Rod Liddle:
Of course the Sousers have already jumped on that particular bandwagon with that strange kind of inverted racism that the politically correct find thoroughly acceptable:
Haven’t you heard enough about that gallant nurse from the Crimean war, Mary Seacole? Granted she deserves our respect. But now they are building a big statue of the lady in London. Her place in the school curriculum outweighs the amount of time devoted to Disraeli, Bismarck, Abraham Lincoln, Karl Marx, Jules Michelet, Tennyson, Charles Dickens, Gladstone, Clive of India, Queen Victoria andFlorence Nightingale combined.
Your children, if they are educated at a state school, will be able to tell you everything about Ms Seacole, nothing about the rest. I wonder if there was some other mysterious quality she possessed which makes her so compelling? And if I’m right, if it isn’t all a little patronising.
Of course the Sousers have already jumped on that particular bandwagon with that strange kind of inverted racism that the politically correct find thoroughly acceptable:
Mary Seacole House is a mental health drop in day centre primarily for the black and minority ethnic communities of Liverpool 8, although open to all, offering support and advice in emotional and practical matters.
Meanwhile, What About Zimbabwe?
While the world, or at least the West, has become focussed on Iran let's not forget Zimbabwe. Remember that place, over there in Africa?
Just like today with Iran, a few months ago all the bleeding heart liberals were attacking the Zimbabwean government and quite rightly so. The great hero being hyped up by all and sundry was Morgan Tsvangirai, who was going to save Zimbabwe from the evil Mugabe and his cronies.
Well Tsvangirai is now Prime Minister and thinks that all Zimbabwean exiles should return home and work with guess who to build stability and prosperity in that country? Yes, that nice Mr Mugabe.
Unlike the people in this country, who fell for McGuinness, Adams and company joining the Northern Irish government, or people who voted UKIP only to see their MEPs being bought off in Brussels but still voted for them on June 4th, this is how the Zimbabwean exiles in the UK responded to Tsvangirai 'going native':
Now that's the way to do it. The problem with Iran is that while we are full of admiration for the people taking to the streets, from a western perspective would the opposition politicians in Iran be any better in government than what is there now?
Full BBC coverage of Tsvangirai's speech.
Just like today with Iran, a few months ago all the bleeding heart liberals were attacking the Zimbabwean government and quite rightly so. The great hero being hyped up by all and sundry was Morgan Tsvangirai, who was going to save Zimbabwe from the evil Mugabe and his cronies.
Well Tsvangirai is now Prime Minister and thinks that all Zimbabwean exiles should return home and work with guess who to build stability and prosperity in that country? Yes, that nice Mr Mugabe.
Unlike the people in this country, who fell for McGuinness, Adams and company joining the Northern Irish government, or people who voted UKIP only to see their MEPs being bought off in Brussels but still voted for them on June 4th, this is how the Zimbabwean exiles in the UK responded to Tsvangirai 'going native':
Now that's the way to do it. The problem with Iran is that while we are full of admiration for the people taking to the streets, from a western perspective would the opposition politicians in Iran be any better in government than what is there now?
Full BBC coverage of Tsvangirai's speech.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Iranian Blogs
No idea what the content is like but I've come across a directory of Iranian blogs. It lists those written in Iran and those written by Iranians abroad.
Directory of Iranian Blogs.
Directory of Iranian Blogs.
MPs' Expenses
The Telegraph has full in-depth, uncensored coverage of all the expenses including ministers' expenses here.
It seems that the Telegraph today also has a supplement dedicated to telling us how the little piggies ripped off our taxes.
It seems that the Telegraph today also has a supplement dedicated to telling us how the little piggies ripped off our taxes.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Salford Labour Party
Congratulations to Salford Constituency Labour Party. Last night they confirmed that Hazel 'The Runt' Blears will continue as their MP and candidate at the next general election and, unless the people of Salford are as stupid as members of the CLP, which I doubt, this means that Labour will lose the seat of Salford and Eccles at the next election.
Perhaps the members of Salford Labour Party who voted for The Runt are all plants from another party, who knows? My only worry is that Mr Smug himself, Martin Bell, might hit Salford on his white charger. Well, in his white suit.
Perhaps the members of Salford Labour Party who voted for The Runt are all plants from another party, who knows? My only worry is that Mr Smug himself, Martin Bell, might hit Salford on his white charger. Well, in his white suit.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Hazel Blears MP
The Runt faces a motion of no confidence tonight at a meeting of her Constituency Labour Party.
But, according to the Manchester Evening News , she looks likely to survive.
Are Labour members in Salford really so bloody stupid? Quite probably actually, we'll find out later tonight.
But, according to the Manchester Evening News , she looks likely to survive.
Are Labour members in Salford really so bloody stupid? Quite probably actually, we'll find out later tonight.
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