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Scouse kid-start 'em young!

A police raid in Toxteth last night found a cache of 2000 semi-automatic weapons with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tons of heroin, £5m in forged banknotes and 25 trafficked Thai prostitutes all in a public building behind Toxteth Library.

Local residents were stunned. One commented: "We're all shocked. We never even knew we had a library".