Latest Liverpool News

Scouse kid-start 'em young!

A police raid in Toxteth last night found a cache of 2000 semi-automatic weapons with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tons of heroin, £5m in forged banknotes and 25 trafficked Thai prostitutes all in a public building behind Toxteth Library.

Local residents were stunned. One commented: "We're all shocked. We never even knew we had a library".

A Nation Of Wimps-Today Arsenal FC and Liverpool FC

An Arsenal footballer has had to apologise because he Tweeted that a team mate looked like a rapist. He was told to apologise, delete the Tweet and explain that he had overstepped the mark. It's not clear who he had apologised to as his team mate took it for the jokey banter it was. Maybe he had upset a Tottenham supporting rapist in Brixton who objected to being likened to an Arsenal player. Somebody at Arsenal FC is a wimp.

Thinking about yesterday's post about wimps I couldn't help wondering about the position of Liverpool FC on all this racism/apology stuff. They defend a banned player who called another player black. Then a supporter shouts "you fucking black bastard" at an opposition player and they promise to ban him for life. I can only assume that in the eyes of Liverpool FC, using the words "fucking" and "bastard" in the same sentence massively trumps the word "black" or "negro", the guilty player is Uruguayan and used the Spanish word.

On the other hand a player like Luis Suarez could score a winning goal and make them a fortune in revenue. Ban a foul mouthed little Scouser and another fifty mugs will be lining up to pay £30 to use his seat.

Funny old game!

The Sounds in My Head

Oh God, please not Bronski Beat!

No, I'm not going mad, at least I don't think so, but recently there seem to be more than the usual number of tunes that get in my head and refuse to go. You know what I mean, you're tootling round the supermarket and suddenly it's there, that tune. You even find yourself humming it out loud, and it isn't always a tune you necessarily like, which makes it even worse.

It happened to me before Christmas and the tune wedged in there and refused to go. It's easing now, but there are still a few times during an average day when it pops in and haunts me. The song is Tar Barrel in Dale by The Unthanks.  If you follow the link and listen to the song I'd be interested to hear if it invades your mind too! Thankfully I like the song, that's some mercy.

Then yesterday I worked with Sweeps, a Scouser on my acting course. It felt like he'd spent Christmas at home with us as he pops up in the current McDonald's and Sheila's Wheels TV commercials. Every time I turned the telly on that bugger popped up. So I was haunted by a Scouser on TV, and The Unthanks had got themselves into the dark recesses of my mind.

But last night, and today it became a lot worse. Last night Sweeps kept singing the opening lines of He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.  So I now have The Hollies desperately fighting The Unthanks like some kind of mental Eurovision Song Contest going on in my head. But to make matters worse the high pitched squealing of Jimmy Somerville singing the chorus of Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy keeps sneaking in. He kept singing that one too when his brother got a bit too heavy for him.

Bloody Scousers!!

Liverpool's a Shithole-Official!

Something Mancunians have known for decades has been confirmed in the Independent and elsewhere after a government survey:

Liverpool's a Shithole-The Independent.

And if you wonder what they use their allotments for in Liverpool there's the following from the BBC:

A woman has told of her shock after she found firearms three times at her Liverpool allotment.

Librarian Joanne Radley said she found shotgun barrels, cyanide and a silencer at the plot in Greenbank Lane.

A man has been arrested over the firearms find and is being held in custody.

The discovery is being linked to a chemicals find at a flat in Ullet Road on Saturday, resulting in the evacuation of 30 residents.

Ms Radley, who works at Garston library, said despite showing police her discoveries it took them over a month to act.

She said: "My daughter Fawn was helping me dig the allotment up in July when we made our initial discovery.

"She found what she thought was a pipe, but it turned out to be a flask containing the barrels of a shotgun.

'Took firearms'

"We were pretty shocked - it's not what you expect to find when you're digging up your veg - so we immediately contacted the police.

"They took the firearms and told us to get back to them if we found anything else.


Joanne Radley said she was told the white powder was cyanide "A few days later we did - two boxes of ammunition and white powder - and told the police again. They did a surface search and cordoned off the area.

"Twenty-four hours later we were allowed back and we found more ammunition and a silencer. This time I took it to the police station because I was so fed up of no action."

Merseyside Police said that part of their investigation was "under review". Det Supt Ritchie Davies said the suitability of officers' allotment searches would be looked at

Those loveable Scousers eh!

Those Loveable Scousers

A gas engineer was attacked by four men while he was carrying out emergency repairs to a suspected leak in a Liverpool street.

The man suffered injuries to his head and body in the unprovoked assault on Carnation Road, Walton.

He had been repairing a pipe when the men demanded his van keys, assaulting him when he refused.

Police said the man had since been discharged from hospital, but was left very shaken.

The offenders are described as being white, aged between 16 to 18 years and of average build. All four wore dark hooded jackets.

'Dangerous behaviour'

Det Con Andy Bason, leading the investigation, said: "This was a cowardly and unprovoked attack on a man who was carrying out an emergency repair.

"We are making extensive inquiries to identify the offenders and will do all we can to catch these men and put them before the courts.

"Behaviour such as this is extremely dangerous and will not be tolerated."

Merseyside police are appealing for witnesses to the attack, which happened at about 2000 GMT on Saturday.

From the BBC

Those Loveable Scousers

They just can't behave can they?

A group of 25 Britons who are all believed to be from Liverpool are being questioned by police in Spain after drug raids on the island of Ibiza.

They were held as part of Operation Trafalgar, which targets alleged drugs traffickers in San Antonio town.

Police reportedly seized 19,000 Ecstasy tablets, 1.5kg of ketamine and 500g of cocaine during the operation.

Still, I suppose it's that or the dole.

From Teletext.

Scouse Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong, or smart enough to steal one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem, but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'

'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

'1, 2, 3, 4, 5,'

at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Yorkshire, Wales and parts of Ireland!

Thanks for that one Sue.

Self-Pity City

Welcome to Liverpool, home of the emotionally incontinent.

Player Facing Disciplinary Action For Smiling.

It Had To Be A Scouser!

A wheelchair basketball star from Liverpool who won a bronze medal for Britain at the Beijing Paralympics has been jailed for benefit fraud.

Ade Orogbemi named as captain for the basketball team at next month's BT Paralympic World Cup, was jailed for six months at Liverpool Crown Court.

Orogbemi, 30, pleaded guilty in January to three counts of fraud.

No Spikki Inglis (Part 2)

"The second half was a crazy game and when it is a crazy game you can't control things. Why was it crazy? Because it was crazy."
Rafa Benitez - not crazy about Liverpool's draw at Wigan.

Bloody foreigners taking our jobs and not even learning the language properly! Perhaps all the English football managers should go on strike against these foreign workers.

Mind you, he has been learning English in Liverpool.

A Scouse Joke

Michael Shields has been spotted in the nick wearing a 'Free Stephen Gerrard' tee-shirt.

They just can't behave can they?

Boris Was Right!

What a fantastic weekend. Caught up with my old mate Steve in Sheffield on Friday for a cracking pre-Christmas Chicken Madras, not far from Hillsbrough which is one of my favourite football grounds.

On Saturday I went to Bury to watch FC United beat the Scousers from Marine FC. If you don't know then Marine are based in Crosby, described as the 'posh' bit of Liverpool. That really means it's the part of Livrpool where the real Scousers go to burgle and rob off wealthier people than themselves.

Which reminded me how right Boris Johnson was when he savaged Liverpool a few years back, and how cowardly and hypocritical he was to grovel and apologise because the Scousers whinged. People from outside Manchester often ask why Mancunians dislike Scousers with such intensity. It's basically because they rob, steal, murder and maim each other then wallow in self-pity and victimhood and blame the rest of the world. Even when one of them is found guilty of attempting to murder a Bulgarian waiter Scousers organise a campaign and manage to turn him into the victim.

Mancunians on the other hand just enjoy a good party and having a good time. Of course the government puritans have now announced that Manchester has the highest level of drink related illness in the country, they always have to look for a negative! No, we just party harder than anywhere else. I'd rather die of cirrhosis in Manchester than an overdose of dodgy coacaine in Liverpool or a stabbing by a 10 year old Scouser on a mountain bike he'd pinched.

So what got me onto this train of thought? Apart from FCUM beating Marine it was going to see James at Manchester Central last night. We went for a Turkish meal before one of the best concerts I've been to, other than Morrissey, for years. The restaurants were packed with people going on to see James or to the Arena to see Elton John, typifying Manchester on a Saturday night. I couldn't help thinking that while Manchester was partying Liverpool would have been full of people buying cocaine from ice-cream vans and stabbing each other. Shame on you Boris.

Which reminds me of the old joke. What do Scouse girls use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.

And finally. Did you know that Sheffield, like Rome, is built on seven hills?

Lake District World Heritage

The Lake District has been pushing for World Heritage Status since 1985, and they are now making more of their fantastic towns and villages in their latest push, and quite right too. As well as beautiful fells, association with great artists and writers you will have to go far to better picturesque villages like Ambleside and Grasmere.

Let's face it, if a cultural wasteland like Liverpool can become 'City of Culture', the Lakes should have been made a World Heritage Site in 1985.

Here is the BBC coverage.