Some of Life's Mysteries

I have noticed that the older people get the more the smaller things in life anger them. I am very rapidly ageing. Here are some of the things that I find at best mysterious, at worst downright anger inducing.

Why are so many people unable to walk anywhere, or even move, without a plastic bottle of water or a paper cup full of coffee? Could it be that they are really telling the rest of us that they are so important, and therefore busy, that they only get the time for a brew when on the move? For God's sake sit down, have a breather and a proper drink. I promise you that the world will not come to an end, no matter how important you think you are.

In this country we used to drive on the left. Not any more. It now seems that a sizeable proportion of motorists on our motorways regard the inside lane, the one on the left, as unusable . Perhaps they think a confused Pole may be whizzing the wrong way down it. Or perhaps they are just too lazy to change lanes. Either way they cause jams and seriously anger most of us who do many thousands of miles each year. For God's sake move over you clowns!

And while I'm on motorists what is it with bloody fog lights? I can imagine some prat tootling along thinking: "Err, there may be fog one day." And zap, on go the fog lights. Why? In rain these stupid lights are refracted all over your windscreen and, from the rear, look like brake lights have come on. From head on they invariably dazzle you. Switch them off for God's sake unless there's fog!

Then there are really annoying shop assistants, there are either too many or too few. I'm no DIY fan, I despise DIY and usually have to ask for help when in a DIY shop. Can you find an assistant? Never. If paranoid you would think they were all hiding in the CCTV room watching you wandering aimlessly around becoming angrier and angrier while they laugh louder and louder. Then you go looking for clothes, you know exactly what you want but pesky, mithering assistants just won't let you get on with it." Do you need any help sir?" For God's sake I'm not a cretin, I know how to buy a sweater you patronsing git! There must be a happy medium surely.