The UN Says: "Be Happy You Miserable Bastards!"

If ever we needed a reminder of what a fatuous waste of time and money the United Nations is today is it. Today is the UN's International Day of Happiness so smile you git, including you lot over there in North Korea. Come on ISIS, put that cutlass down and instead of beheading that Christian, get him guffawing with a good, old fashioned Syrian, Iraqi and Iranian joke. Come on West Africa, stop worrying about Ebola for a day and get each other giggling. Vanuatu? Lighten up, you'll soon be looking back on the last fortnight and the only thing you'll remember is the UN making you happy today.

Then a few days back we had that grand old queen of England Elton John throwing yet another temper tantrum and calling for an international boycott of Dolce and Whatsit. Why was he in such an emotional state? Dolce and Whatsit, or Dolce or Whatsit maybe, had said that IVF was synthetic and that adoption should be restricted to traditional families, a man and a woman. Of course dare question the self-obsessed godmother of lifestyle and you cross the world's great and good, well, Posh Beckham and bloated, coke snorting, retired Argentinian football cheat Maradonna. (Think you'll find that's Madonna. Ed.) Yes the usual suspects who think it's cool to have a little mascot like Elton John to fawn and grovel over jumped on the bandwagon. Surprised they didn't get the Ouija board out for a quick quote from Liz Taylor.

Quite clearly IVF, by definition, is synthetic. Fact Elton, get over it you sad little git. As for adoption. Well I'm with Dolce and Whatsit on that one too. To be perfectly honest having seen and read so much about Elton John I can't imagine anybody less suitable to be a parent. But he typifies modern Britain, dare to disagree about something, especially regarding the current politically correct orthodoxy, and you fall head first into a shit storm of epic proportions, especially if it's concerning race or sexuality.

Yesterday I fell into my very own shit storm. It wasn't epic, it was a bit limp wristed coming from a Green Party tree hugger who I suspect hadn't eaten his lentils. I had the temerity on an internet forum to suggest that David Coburn, UKIP's MEP for Scotland, was guilty of nothing worse than stupidity when he said that he called Scottish politician Humza Yousaf, jokingly, Abu Hamza. It seems that because both are of similar ethnicity but one is a convicted terrorist this is racist. As I was defending Coburn, while calling him stupid (yes I know) said tree hugger then told me that I too am clearly a 'racist'. I told said Green Party weirdo that he was clearly a twat and promptly blocked him.

Two examples of how oppressive and anti free speech political correctness really is. Disagree with the politically correct and they hunt you down and, in the case of Elton John, will try to damage your business. In my case it was a dickhead using 'racist' as a term of abuse. In fact 'racist' is a word that is so misused today it is effectively meaningless.

As for the UN International Day of Happiness. About as interesting as the eclipse which seems to have only served to give saddoes in the media some sort of weird pseudo-sexual stimulation. The moon's crossing between us and the sun, big deal. I can stand on the station car park and when a truck goes up Warton Road it blocks my view of the Co-Op. Same thing surely?

Have a good weekend.