Friday, November 28, 2008

Annual Police Terror

No sooner do the Christmas decorations go up than traffic plod (pictured left) begins his Scrooge-like terror campaign against the motorist.

I have just got back fom Lancaster where plod are stopping every fourth or fifth motorist for spot checks. It seems that they were out earlier this week stopping people en route to work in the morning. The idea being that they have a quick whiff of your breath in case you are still a bit pissed from a party the night before, or in case you are in the habit of having sherry trifle for brekkie.

I blogged some time ago about how Mrs B was stopped in Lancaster around Christmas last year, plod was most miffed when she was evidently sober as a judge.

So I will now recycle the same old joke:

Q: What's the difference between a police traffic car and a hedgehog?
A: A hedgehog has the pricks on the outside!


Anonymous said...

At least the coppers are doing something they should be for once. Having been on the recieving end of a drunk driver's idiocy I'm of the opinion that there should be random spot checks all year round and not just at christmas.

Derek Bennett EU-Sceptic said...

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, what do we have 'ere then? I've got your number sunny and will keeping an ye on you after reading this blog!

Steve Allison (UKIP Councillor) said...

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.

"Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.

"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years!"

Steve Allison (UKIP Councillor) said...

After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the driver's window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel.

"Ma’am," he said. "I’m afraid we’re going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to see whether or not you’ve been drinking."

The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he said: "Lady, you’ve had a couple of stiff ones."

"That’s amazing!" the girl cried. "You mean it shows that too!"

lurch said...

Amazed they have the time, what with all the arresting Shadow Cabinet members for doing their jobs.

Gregg Beaman said...

Zeig heil!

Gregg Beaman said...

Bang on Lurch. And the Zeig Heil was for anonymous twat.

Gregg Beaman said...

I asked the last tit to pull me if he'd ever thought of getting a proper job. He didn't like that.

Mark Wadsworth said...

I thought the difference was that it's a bit sad when a hedgehog gets run over.

Gregg Beaman said...

I like that variation Mark. I might use it next Christmas if you don't mind.