Britain's Got Talent?

Sasha: Terrified by a Britney Spears impersonator.  

I must admit I don't mind TV talent shows, I was weaned on Opportunity Knocks and New Faces. And I'm not one of those sniffy tele-snobs who thinks TV should always be culturally and intellectually enriching, I'll read Turgenev or Patrick Hamilton for that, or go to the theatre which I do whenever I can. No, there are times when it's good to just slob, watch pap and fester in front of the complete mental candy floss that is British TV. But Britain's Got Talent is too much pap, even for me.

I've been sat reading a cracking book this week while my beloved has been playing Solitaire at the same time as watching BGT. I've been really struck how totally crap most of the acts are, not to mention the panel. How can we ever mock the Eurovision Song Contest again when a gang of kids, seemingly doing an off key tribute to the Jacksons, can win a semi-final of BGT? Those kids last night were awful, but not quite as dire as the Britney Spears tribute girl whose toxic singing even scared our cats.

As for the panel, well, David Hasselhof seems to be a nice enough chap but is on the wrong planet. Michael McIntyre is great as a comedian but seems totally lost and clueless as a judge on a talent show. Amanda Holden seems to be so busy sucking up to Simon Cowell I'm afraid what might happen next, thank God it's on before the watershed. And as for Cowell, if it's not a group of leggy babes or teenage boys, no matter how badly they sing, he "just doesn't get it".

Come back Eurovision, there doesn't seem to be much talent left in Britain.