More Tory Bullshit-The European Union

The Conservatives really must think we're a nation of halfwits, which really gets me angry because I don't believe the vast majority of UK citizens are anywhere near as stupid as your average Tory MP.

100 Tory MPs have signed a letter asking Cameron to offer us a referendum on the EU in their manifesto for the next election. No, don't worry, you've not been in a coma and just woken up back in 2009 somehow, oh no, they're still at it. Whenever the Tories want to garner a bit of support they put on their Eurosceptic masks. But then, when in power, do more to sell our country down the Brussels plughole than any other party ever has.

As Cameron lied about a referendum in the last election, and the debate about a referendum in the House of Commons was lost, what is the point of MPs writing him a nice letter asking him to offer what he has promised in the past, and then reneged on? It's more Tory bullshit, don't fall for it.

If those 100 Tory MPs threatened to resign their seats immediately, precipitating 100 by-elections unless he called a referendum now, then I might have some respect for them. But please stop treating us like the idiots that you are, because we're not.

El Perro Del Mar-Change of Heart

All been a little serious lately so time to 'do a Cameron'. By that I mean chillax rather than violently dispose of a man called Cameron. El Perro del Mar do a wonderful version of Lou Reed's Heavenly Arms too, which I have posted previously here.

Enjoy Change of Heart by the incredible El Perro del Mar:

Bomber Command Memorial

Finally the heroes of Bomber Command are to get the memorial they so richly deserve.

We have owed the thousands of young men who fought the war in the air so bravely and selflessly this memorial since 1945, especially those who didn't come back.

Today is a proud day for us as a nation, the dwindling band of Bomber Command survivors, those who never came home and their families.

Lib Dems and the House of Lords

The best way to reform Parliament would be to cram as many Lib Dem MPs, MEPs and councillors as we possibly can into the House of Lords, then blow it to kingdom come.

Nicky Clegg seems to think tinkering with the House of Lords is crucial for our democracy, after all we can't possibly have unelected people involved in law making can we? No, that won't do will it? If you elect people they all behave impeccably don't they? Acting in our best interests, never getting anything wrong and never fiddling their expenses. Don't they?

Just look at our glorious elected leaders. We had Blair and Brown. We now have Cameron, Osborne and Clegg. Paragons of virtue?

So Clegg, and this bastard government, wants to have most of the House of Lords elected and to bung them £300 a day for turning up when elected. Oh yes, and they'll be elected for fifteen years! That's not another gravy train for politicians is it?And let's face it the Lib Dems love a gravy train more than most.

Personally I like the idea of the House of Lords being made up of people who are there on merit. In fact isn't 'meritocracy' the other big word in your average Lib Dem's vocab? I don't see electing idiots, with no qualfications for the job, particularly meritocratic. Especially when they will all have political axes to grind.

Furthermore, the House of Commons is s4/ubservient to the House of Commons, it is a scrutinising chamber. Who will be first 'Peer', elected for fifteen years, to shout to an MP: "You were only elected for five years, people think I'm bettter than you"? Bingo, constitutional crisis.

Maybe if some of the criteria for standing in a House of Lords election were practical things, such as the person can prove they have never been a member of a political party and have never before held elected office, I might see some point. But while it is obviously just another gravy train for politicos stuff it.

The Queen and Martin McGuinness

What the Queen should do today:

Time For A Republic?

I much prefer having a constitutional monarch to the presidential alternative. God help us if we ended with President Blair. But there are times I have to ask what the point of our monarchy is.

I find most of the opponents of the monarchy small minded and envious. They claim the monarch costs too much. Big deal, get rid and what you save is a one off and, in the scheme of things, a tiny drop in the ocean. I still see them as the Roundheads whereas we are the Cavaliers, preferring a dash of colour and romance. On a slightly more serious level I love the link with our glorious past that the monarchy represents.

But at what point do we expect the monarch to actually exercise some power for the good of the country, even if it produces a constitutional crisis, rather than merely acting in the interests of the monarchy?

This monarch has sat back and allowed successive governments to hand over ever more power to the European Union. Should she have stepped in, maybe when the Coalition was being cobbled together, and demanded that she would only accept it if we were given our promised referendum on the European Union?

Then yesterday we heard that she is to grovel to IRA man Martin McGuinness. Not only did the IRA murder Lord Mountbatten but they murdered thousands of innocent people during 'The Troubles'. When Al Quaeda and others see the Queen kowtowing to McGuiness no wonder they believe that terrorism does indeed bring its rewards.

It seems that pretty soon, if not already, there will be little point in having a constitutional monarch if the only reason it exists is to protect its own future and stuff the country and the people.

It's time to make a stand ma'am!

Epitaph

Every now and then, when the EU is centre stage usually, the sight of foreign politicians behaving like prats lulls us into a false sense of ignorance towards our own politicians. In other words, we forget about them.

Then up pops the Labour Party tosser-in-chief, Miliband Jr, talking crap about immigration. So you cocked up immigration when the rest of us knew what was what eh? You think admitting it means we'll forgive you do you? Well we won't you little prat. Especially when, thanks to the EU, we know your platitudes about controlling it in future are clearly lies, along the lines of Cameron's promise of an EU referendum actually.

The following is a classic in my humble opinion that is so very, very relevant today in so many ways. Especially with lyrics such as:

The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of fools.

How true.

Jimmy Carr

Good on Jimmy Carr.

We all have a duty to take care of our families first and foremost, and that's what he has done. But he is now being pilloried for legally ensuring he keeps as much as he earns as he can. If he wanted to work for the government he would have become a civil servant.

By contrast Cameron attacks him as "immoral". The British Prime Minister, head of an unelected government, that squanders millions on pet schemes and bombing other countries, not to mention denying us a referendum on the EU, and he has the audacity to attack Jimmy Carr as "immoral".

Up yours Cameron.

Police State-Religious Police

It seems that not only do the Saudis and their ilk have religious police, but we do now too.

Another pensioner has had the dreaded knock on the door, at least I don't think they kicked it down. This one has been visited by the polizei for having a sign in his window. The sign states ‘religions are fairy stories for adults’.

The Public Order Act dictates that it is an offence to display any sign which is threatening, abusive or insulting, and could cause distress. If that sign causes anybody to feel threatened, abused, insulted or distressed they need serious help, and probably something rather stronger than their religion would appear to be.

Personally I think the man is a pillock who should get on with his life. If he is an atheist don't obsess about those of us who believe to the extent that you waste your time putting silly notices in your window.

But for crying out loud, leave the barmy old bugger alone, he's doing no harm to anyone.

Full story from the Boston Standard here.

Brian Hibbard-The Flying Pickets

Sad to hear that Brian Hibbard of The Flying Pickets, and then Coronation Street, died yesterday.



BBC Obituary

Police State-Olympic Torch!

This country gets scarier by the minute. When I studied politics and history at school we used to be aghast at how authoritarian other European states were, and to what level the state interfered in peoples' daily lives. Now we seem to have caught up and left behind many countries in the mithering, interfering state stakes.

The latest example is a chap in Scotland, yet again, who has been visited by two Gestapo, oops sorry, CID officers, after he wrote to his local newspaper announcing his intention to hold a one man protest when the Olympic torch passes through his neighbourhood:

Mr Coull said: ''It (the torch relay) was invented by Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels, to please his boss Adolf. Hitler loved the idea of the relay, and the connection with pagan mythology in ancient Greece, emphasising the Aryan nature of the games.''

The pensioner, who completed a history degree at Dundee University in his late 50s, said in his letter that he would be ''there to protest this fascist display'' on the Angus leg of the relay.

Eccentric? Maybe. But we used to celebrate eccentricity. Now we send round the politzei. God help us.

Full story from The Courier newspaper.

Back To Pleasure Island



Wanted, dead or alive!

We had massive delays in Calais yesterday as some barmpot tried to enter England illegally by walking through the Channel Tunnel. Funny as we were sat there wishing we didn't have to come back. But we eventually did.

We got to Folkestone and made our first mistake, we put the BBC radio on. I really thought we had gone through the Channel Tunnel into some weird kind of parallel universe. The main news item was how a nine year old girl had been banned from photographing her school meals and putting them on her blog, Never Seconds. I immediately stopped for breakfast, convinced that my craving a full monty belly buster brekkie, after two weeks of weedy croissants and baguettes, had created some kind of hallucinogenic effect. But no, it was true.

After brekkie we heard somebody I can only describe as a patronising, moronic twat (aka Executive Director of Community Services) justifying this act of pure Stalinism on behalf of the politburo of Argyll and Bute. Yes, it just had to be in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Scotland didn't it?

To cut a long story short the patronising, moronic twat was whining on about how coverage of Martha's blog in a Scottish newspaper, Pravda I think, had led to dinner ladies in Argyll and Bute threatening mass suicide they were so distraught. If that is true I would sack the lot, bunch of mardy arsed bastards should be in padded cells allowed nothing sharp. Well done Martha I say.

But the most annoying thing was the patronising, moronic twat repeatedly claiming that this was not an attack on free speech because free speech, apparently, does not include the right to upset people, those people being the mard arsed dinner ladies of Argyll and Bute. Bollocks, that's exactly what free speech does allow. Tell you what pal your patronising bullshit really got me angry yesterday, so should you be banned from practising free speech because your inane bullshit angers people?

One other really annoying thing was the twat's accent. I do find patronising bastards with Scottish accents really, really annoyingly patronising. Their speech is so clipped and precise every sentence seems to say 'just listen little person, unlike you I know what is right and correct'. If you don't believe me just listen, if you can bare it, to George Galloway, he's the prime exponent.

Anyway, by the time we got to Milton Keynes, the Supreme Leader of the Argyll and Bute politburo had overturned the ban, realising what a load of bollocks it was. I only hope he sent the patronising, moronic twat to Siberia. Well, maybe the Shetland Isles.

France

It's been wet and cold in Normandy these last ten days so going home won't be such a toil.One or two things we've noticed this year.

There is terrible inflation, prices are way up on what they were in October, which nullifies any gains from the exhange rate.

Prices are marked as prominantly in Francs in the supermarkets as they are in Euros.

There is a proliferation of EU flags, even on D-Day memorials. I suppose it's the death rattle of the EU, a bit like the last days of the Reich.

That's all I can be bothered with. Oh yes, it was their elections on Sunday and all the socialist women we saw looked like men, and the socialist men were all camp.

C'est tout!

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Dutch) Update

A bloody Dutch caravan turned up on the next pitch yesterday. He has built what looks like a radio telescope to rival Jodrell Bank, which has really wrecked our outlook. So I have had to strategically park my van to mask it. I just hope it isn't so powerful it buckles my chasis.

To have a piece of space age industrial kit like that with him he must be chatting to Martians or getting 5 million seriously dodgy porn channels from Eastern Europe.

Get out and sightsee you balloon!

Obsessive Compulsive Dutch People

We've been visiting France, and elsewhere in Europe, for years and the Dutch are the weirdest people on earth. It is a country of obsessive compulsives. They drive me mad! Their towns are so prissy and tidy they are like toy villages. And don't get me onto how bloody smug they are.

Then they come on campsites in France and pitch their caravans like they are in some kind of ideal caravan exhibition. Their awnings are as tight as bass drums whereas others, even the Germans', usually sag a little somewhere.

I swear their cars are so pristine that they don't even get wet when it rains. One Dutchman over the road from us even has a mat in his boot that he pulls over his bumper so that the dog can get out without leaving fur or muck on the bodywork. God forbid the dog has the trots en route, I swear he'd have to burn the car and buy another.

The people next door but one to us even have their little step at their door to their caravan on a mat. Not only that but they have two pieces of timber under the legs at one side so that the step is perfectly level as they are parked on a slight incline. I swear I saw him checking it with a spirit level.

They then seem to spend their whole holiday sat under their awning or cleaning their caravans and cars inside and out. They rarely seem to go out and explore.

They are especially fond of their matching exterior furniture which is always set in perfect position. Table and chairs absolutely geometrically perfectly placed, it makes me want to creep out in the night and put thir chairs at assorted angles. But I fear they may be driven to some kind of mental breakdown if I did.

The most annoying thing is they all have huge satellite dishes outside their caravans pointing at Hilversum. They can't bear to be without Ostenders or Oranjeboom Street or whatever crap television they produce, even on holiday.

They don't need an EU bailout, they need subsidising for a national psychiatric session.

La Belle France

Occasional posting while touring a soggy Normandy, famous for cider, William the Conqueror and the liberation of Europe in 1944/45.

It was strange being in St Valery sur Somme, from where William the Conqueror set out to conquer us, for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. It rained too.

God Save the Queen!

Civil Service Credit Cards

So a parliamentary committee finds that civil servants have been issued with 'company' credit cards, which they then abuse by using them to pay for doughnuts, luxury hotel rooms, music downloads and God knows what else.

The government responds by saying that the cards save taxpayers money. Tell you what then, give me and my beloved one each and we'll save the government an absolute fortune!

I can't believe we are ruled by such obvious idiots. Further proof that we have a costly and bloated public sector that should be cut, cut and cut again. Then cut a bit more.