Leveson Inquiry

I have absolutely no interest in the private lives of footballers, actors or anybody else in  the entertainment business. Phone hacking is detestable and anybody involved in it should be prosecuted and well and truly punished. However, I do think the private lives of politicians are in the public interest, after all, if somebody's MP is happy to betray his wife and kids he would have no qualms about dumping on a constituent or anybody else.

It was moving to see Milly Dowler's parents giving evidence to the Leveson Inquiry yesterday, but I doubt that anything done now could possibly ease their pain. But they behaved with amazing dignity in an agonising situation.

But also yesterday we saw Hugh Grant blubbering about the publicity he gets. I have little sympathy with a person who goes out for publicity when it suits him, but blubs when it doesn't suit him. Furthermore, I realised that when you see Hugh Grant on screen it is just Hugh Grant. He could have been his character from any one of his films, he just plays himself.

Today we have heard ex-footballer Garry Flitcroft blubbing:

"I had a wife and a kid and I've got a very, very close family," he said. "All I could think about was it going in the newspaper and being seen nationally and the effect it would have on her."

How noble of Mr Flitcroft to want to keep his unfaithfulness out of the newspapers just to protect his wife. What a selfless chap.

For the likes of the Dowlers I have every sympathy. But for 'celebrities' blubbing I say if you behave properly and honourably, you deprive the media of their sordid, squalid little stories. After all, it is your sordid, squalid little actions that are being reported.

And for those who are indulging in fits of righteous indignation about our horrid media remember one thing. If you didn't buy the tat, be it Sky TV or a red top newspaper, they'd be out of business. All the media are doing is satisfying a demand.

Red Nose Day

I don't want to sound like a miserable old turd, nor do I want to sound holier than thou BUT you can stick Red Nose Day where the sun doesn't shine.

A bunch of overpaid celebrity ponces creaming money out of a drooling and gullible population of arseholes. And if I see some spotty youth sat in a tub full of baked beans, in a stupid red nose and a collecting bucket, he'd better make the most of that last breath he will pull into his stupid nostrils because I will drown him in his bloody beans.

Then up pops some prat of a politician on the telly trying to do a funny sketch with Lenny Henry. But all he succeeds in doing is reminding us why we effing loathe politicians. They are just not trendy and shouldn't try to be, neither is Red Nose Day, it should have happened once and once only, finito.

When I give to charity, which I do without being pushed by some z-list nonentity trying to resurrect his failing career, I like to know where my cash is going. Would you give to a charity that some manic Irish poof like Graham Norton supports? No, neither would I. And guess what 'celebrities'? There are people climbing Kilimanjaro and Everest on an almost daily basis for charity, difference is they just get on and do it without turning it into a huge great 'look at me I'm a saint' exercise.

Right, now that's off my chest I'm off to see if there's a repeat of Grumpy Old Men on the telly. Now they are funny, especially Rick Wakeman: