Red Nose Day

I don't want to sound like a miserable old turd, nor do I want to sound holier than thou BUT you can stick Red Nose Day where the sun doesn't shine.

A bunch of overpaid celebrity ponces creaming money out of a drooling and gullible population of arseholes. And if I see some spotty youth sat in a tub full of baked beans, in a stupid red nose and a collecting bucket, he'd better make the most of that last breath he will pull into his stupid nostrils because I will drown him in his bloody beans.

Then up pops some prat of a politician on the telly trying to do a funny sketch with Lenny Henry. But all he succeeds in doing is reminding us why we effing loathe politicians. They are just not trendy and shouldn't try to be, neither is Red Nose Day, it should have happened once and once only, finito.

When I give to charity, which I do without being pushed by some z-list nonentity trying to resurrect his failing career, I like to know where my cash is going. Would you give to a charity that some manic Irish poof like Graham Norton supports? No, neither would I. And guess what 'celebrities'? There are people climbing Kilimanjaro and Everest on an almost daily basis for charity, difference is they just get on and do it without turning it into a huge great 'look at me I'm a saint' exercise.

Right, now that's off my chest I'm off to see if there's a repeat of Grumpy Old Men on the telly. Now they are funny, especially Rick Wakeman: