Saturday, May 08, 2010

Lord Pearson Was Right About UKIP!

Lord Pearson, UKIP's leader, was absolutely right in urging people to vote for anybody but UKIP candidates. I apologise for doubting his sanity.

About 5-30 yesterday morning the result was declared in the Meriden constituency and the UKIP candidate couldn't be bothered turning up. You may remember him, pictured above in his now famous masturbation t-shirt. Although I think he'll find masturbating on a 53 bus trundling down Cheetham Hill Road may lead to him being interviewed by plod.

What was bizarre at the declaration in Meriden was that John Ison, UKIP's Solihull candidate, tried to impersonate his pal Barry by lining up with the Meriden candidiates for the announcement, he should have worn Barry's t-shirt, it would have suited him and made him less conspicuous. I can only assume he'd imbibed too much Red Bull or Pro Plus because he then turned to me, sweating and eyes bulging and hissed, from the corner of his mouth: "Beaten by a wanker, beaten by a wanker, beaten by a wanker". I can only assume that he was, as Barry Alcock's right hand, pleased with the result.

It then got more bizarre, drawing quizzical looks from other candidates and agents, when he started hissing at me: "I know you're Junius, I know you're Junius" repeating it several times in the style of the school playground. An even more bizarre individual than Barry Alcock it seems.

If you are unaware Junius writes the blog Junius on UKIP. He does it anonymously, I have no idea who he/she is, but he obviously sends UKIP members into a wild frenzy of anger leading them to see Junius in everybody they see as an opponent. A sure sign of madness.

Maybe Junius posted yesterday from a hospital bed in Oxford. Then again maybe not.


Peter Metcalfe said...

So you're Junius eh?
and Rosie, and Caterpillars and Butterflies, Guy Fawkes, Devils Kitchen, Spartacus...........

Just don't let them accuse you of being 'More to life than shoes'. Now that would be a real insult!

Lurch said...

You should have slugged the fucker in the face old bean.

Gregg said...

Do you kow Lurch, you're absolutely spot on. His fat chubby chops invite a quick upper cut.

I must be softening towards mongs in my old age.

Anonymous said...

Id like to slug Ison and Allcock and I'm a member of UKIP.

Steve Allison said...

Ah So YOU are Junius! I thought it was Piers Merchant communicating from the other place? Actually I'm Junius (or should that be Spartacus?)

Gregg Beaman said...

To be honest Steve there's more chance of Junius beiong the late Piers than me, but I suspect John Ison has serious mental health problems.

How are you doing?

Anon_one said...

I don't think Guy Fawkes could possibly be Junius. Lets face it, Guy Fawkes was the last person to enter parliament with honest intentions.

Greg L-W. said...


the only picture of the duplicitous and untrustworthy creep is of a sad and startled fat chap holding his head on with a wing nut!

In view of his underhand and creepy behaviour one starts to understand why he has problems gaining access to his children - he comes across as someone who should not be allowed near children and his morality is clearly no example that children should be exposed to.

Greg L-W.