Step forward Elizabeth Bailey, principal environmental health officer for East Cambridgeshire District Council. Now pelt the old bag with rotten eggs, tomatoes and rotting fish.
Here is the story of how this Hitler in skirts has banned a poetry reading group from holding readings in an Ely pub.
Here's what the bureaucratic bitch said:
"We have licences for all sorts of reasons - fire and police need to check it is safe - it is not just us being petty. There need to be certain checks in place."
And here's what the pub landlord had to say:
"It's trivial and pathetic. We've got a licence for 200 burly men to bounce around to whatever music they want, but not for a small number of quiet people to have a talk.
"When they give recitals it's not even amplified. They just get up and speak."
Ms Bailey should be immediately suspended, preferably from the same lamppost as Russell Brand.