Why David Cameron Should Sack Nick Clegg

The short blog post would read: "Because Clegg is chief nobhead who leads a party of massive nobheads". But I suppose that is really not enough.

I detest the European Union with every fibre of my being. It is a sick, money gobbling vanity project to bolster the egos of a bunch of political misfits in Europe. It is corrupt, it is interfering and controlling. It is led by the two greyest politicians the world has ever seen, Herman von Rompuy and Baroness Ashton. The EU's accounts are in such a mess they've not been signed off in nearly 20 years.

If they pretend to be democratic they hold a referendum, then another one until the people vote the way they want them to. They have held bloodless coups in Greece and Italy and installed their own technocrats, aka twats, to run those two countries. A quote from the great PJ O'Rourke sums up my attitude to government, especially big, interfering, unaccountable government: "A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them".

I love Europe. I love quiche or foie gras and a carafe of rose outside a cafe in Bergerac for lunch. It's hard to beat hunters stew and vodka on a snowy mountainside at Christmas in Poland. There isn't a finer Christmas market than the original, biggest and best in Nuremburg. Tapas in a shabby little bar full of locals in a small town outside Toledo can't be beaten by any tapas restaurant in Manchester or London. There's nothing more evocative than walking under the Brandenburg Gate, an impossibility a couple of decades ago. An abiding memory is of seeing Nigel Mansell become world champion and spending that evening sat outside our tent on the shores of Lake Balaton drinking cherry brandy with an Austrian and a Hungarian.

But my fondest memory has to be having a drink before our meal in the small bar of a hotel in the High Tatras mountains in Czechoslovakia just after the Velvet Revolution. A German family came into the bar and the husband asked if it was my car in the car park, the one with the ani-EU stickers on the bumper. I confirmed it was mine and he shook my hand and we had a drink and spent a great evening together. When Germany had been reunified he had left the east to settle in Munich. He and his fellow Osties were appalled when they discovered the true nature of the EU and hated the fact that they had left one authoritarian bloc top join another, rather than an independent, united, democratic Germany. I sent a batch of anti-EU stickers over for him and his friends when we got back.

So when a jumped up, talentless prick like Clegg throws the accusation of xenophobia at we Eurosceptics I want to pin the misfit down and kick him unconscious. He needs to grow a brain and understand that it's tithead politicians like Clegg we despise, not your average Frenchman, German or Greek. It is the institutions of the EU I loathe, not the culture, cuisine or customs of Italy, Spain or Portugal. Crying xenophobia proves why little Nicky Clegg is a brainless moron and he and his party should be sacked from government forthwith. Not only is he sticking two fingers up at Cameron's standing up to the EU, he is showing his loathing for Britain and the British people.

Here endeth the lesson.