Wednesday, March 10, 2010

National No Smoking Day

In case you didn't know today is 'National No Smoking Day' when the government, and assorted hysterical anti-tobacco nuts and health fascists, badger us about having a drag on a fag. No doubt the government propaganda device in your living room will be pumping cancer and bronchitis warnings at you all day in between telling you how they will crush your car if you even think about not taxing it or will remove your finger nails with pliers if you forget to get your TV licence.

I gave up smoking three years ago but feel it is our patriotic duty to support our oppressed fellow citizens who are forced, by fascistic authoritarian government automatons, to brave the elements whenever they fancy a smoke, be they at work, in the pub or even at home it seems. Even on a railway station platform with no roof and a howling wind, smokers will be shot if they light up according to the tannoy announcements about not smoking or blowing up a train at Lancaster Station.

So, back to our patriotic duty. You get knobhead celebrities, like Prince Harry or William (which one's Ant which one's Dec?) kipping in cardboard boxes to support the homeless, smokers are much more deserving, at least they pay taxes, so each and every one of us should support the oppressed smokers of the UK and go out, buy a packet of ciggies and light up in solidarity.

Can you still get 5 Park Drive and a book of matches?


Ray said...

Whenever someone patronizes me and asks me why I don't give up smoking I say that I will only consider trying 6 months after I don't get nagged about it any more. Then point out that they just reset the clock.

Interestingly they tend to get annoyed at me at that point. Like it is any of there business, I don't smoke in front of them! Close friends and family don't nag me about it anyway.

Gregg Beaman said...

It's the pricks who start coughing and spluttering when they see a smoker about 50 yards away who piss me right off. If they are that delicate they should be tucked up in bed.