Friday, February 26, 2010

Things That Piss Me Off!

Here's a list of things that currently turn me into a grumpy old man:

Mothers who let their kids run wild in the supermarket as if it's a playground. It's a shop you stupid bags!

Drivers who sit in the middle lane on the motorway. We drive on the left you gits!

Motorists who speed up to 90mph as you overtake them, then drop back to 60mph again when you've passed. Grow up prats!

Government propaganda adverts on the TV, it's like the USSR. Piss off Gordon!

Piers Morgan and any misfit who goes on TV with him. Up against that wall and here's your last fag!

Traffic police. Get a proper job you tits!

Speed cameras and most, if not all, traffic lights. Let's blow 'em up!

Russell Howard. He gets me so 'effin angry!!

Socialists. Off to Cuba you misfits!

Champagne socialists. Here, drown in this vat of bubbles!

Cafes that can't do a decent cooked breakfast. Piss off and just offer tea and toast, if you can get that right!

Prats who slag off politicians then want the state to do everything. Pillocks!

Those who stupidly welcome the state enslaving us ever more with the words: "Well, if it saves us from terrorists it's fine by me". Fuck off to Cuba!

Professional immigrants like Yasmin Alibai Brown and that black fella, what's his name? Darcus Howe, he's the one. If we're all so horrible and racist how come you've done so bloody well you pair of bastards?

This government, the next government, and probably the one after that, at least. Self serving bastards!

Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott with Andrew Neill. The most smug, patronising, mutual arse licking trio of knobs in the world today!

Anti-racists and racists, two sides of the same coin. Just leave us to get on with each other for God's sake!

Michael Moore. Fat, patronising, self-serving hypocritical scum!!

Manchester City fans who claim that "real Mancunians support City and United aren't even in Manchester". 34 years!

Hazel Blears. Short arsed, patronising, self-serving hypocritical ginger scum!!
That was very therapeutic, but I suspect there's a lot more. Feel free to send in things that really get up your goat.


Greg L-W. said...


You asked:
Feel free to send in things that really get up your goat.

I don't think I would be prepared to leave my goat with Tony Blair, Peter Tachel, Alan Duncan, Peter Mandelson or Gordon Brown - as they might!

Greg L-W.

Gregg Beaman said...

That's interesting Greg. I had them down as dog fanciers myself!!