Geraldine Smith MP for Morecambe and Lunesdale

Sorry about the title, she is now 'Geraldine Smith of Morecambe'. You see she lost her seat yesterday to the Conservatives.

Good riddance you vindictive, ill educated old bag.

For more on her click on the 'Geraldine Smith' label below, I've blogged a few times about her.

Which UKIP Candidate?

In the Morecambe and Lunesdale constituency we received our UKIP election address urging us to vote for Nigel Brown. But when the candidates were declared on the Lancaster City Council website the declared UKIP candidate is Mark Andrew Knight. Both appear as the candidate on different parts of the UKIP website.

Who knows, maybe Nigel got cold feet when he saw this now notorious video of Party Leader Lord Pearson on The Campaign Show. Jon Sopel's expression is priceless!

Then again maybe Nigel stood down when the Lib Dems announced their promise of an in/out referendum on membership of the EU. Surely according to UKIP's policy of not standing against Labour or more importantly, Tory Eurosceptics, they should now stand down against Lib Dem candidates? After all, the Lib Dems in a hung parliament are more likely to deliver UKIP's desired referendum than half a dozen misfits in the other parties, even if the Lib Dems aren't Eurosceptic.

Country before party, surely?

Vote Labour?

It's very interesting in my constituency of Morecambe and Lunesdale at the moment. The defending MP is the idiot champagne guzzling socialist Geraldine Smith, who is something like 110th on the Tory Party's hitlist of targets for a general election victory. Even after winning a champagne guzzling contest with the prat MP Bill Etherington she'll probably get back in. No leaflets yet though.

The Tories, on the other hand, are sending us regular bumph that would, a few years ago, have ended up on a nail in the bog at the end of the yard. What's interesting about the Tory bumph is that it is mostly fired off from Millbank and carries a photo of chubby cheeks Cameron with a gormless half grin on his face. Having said that it strikes me as odd from a party that claims to want to decentralise power back to us local yokels. In fact, despite all the crap from the Tories I still don't know the name of the local candidate. What I do know is he looks like a gimp middle manager in a grey suit and has a similar chubby cheeked imbecilic half grin on his face to Dave's when I have glimpsed him in a leaflet peering at a cracked pavement or cleaning up a steaming dog turd to show how caring he is.

But anybody thinking of voting Labour should remember that Gordon Brown's "new start" includes Lady Mandy Mandelson, Charlie Whelan,Damian McBride and Derek "Dolly" Draper. What a team of spivs, shysters and utterly devious and deviant knobheads.

So if you want more of the same old authoritarian bullshit, government mithering and lies then vote Labour.

On the other hand, if you want more of the same old authoritarian bullshit, government mithering and lies then vote Conservative.

What's the difference?

Geraldine Smith MP for Morecambe and Lunesdale

As a general election approaches it's important that the spotlight is turned on MPs seeking re-election as well as PPCs. Yesterday I posted about my local MP, Geraldine Smith, and the story of her guzzling champagne in a drinking contest with another champagne socialist MP. Today I reproduce an article about her expenses from the Lancashire Evening Post.

Morecambe and Lunesdale MP Geraldine Smith left taxpayers with a dry cleaning bill of more than £700.
The MP's allowance receipts from 2004/5 to 2007/8 reveal she claimed more than £14,000 for food and more than £3,000 for furnishings.

Ms Smith also claimed more than £1,000 to buy newspapers over four years and £424.99 on a Sony camera.

Among the items claimed to furnish her home were a £235 picture, a £249 table lamp, a £185 mirror and £224 on "kitchen equipment" such as pots and pans.

She spent £210 on a table, £173.60 on bed linen and £42 on cups and glasses. £186 was spent on cushions and a further £148 on bedspreads, sheets and pillows.

Her biggest claim came as part of her communications allowance when she claimed for £4,042 for preparing a questionnaire and letter on the Heysham M6 Link, which was delivered to 30,000 homes in her constituency.

One claim from November 2005 was for £650 for meals.
The MP also claimed £728.30 on taxi journeys.

Morecambe and Lunesdale MP Geraldine Smith said: "If you look over the four years (furniture) is quite a small percentage. I didn't get a flat in 1997, I lived in hotels for five years."

On her dry cleaning costs, she said: "There are extra additional costs when you are away from home. It was a legitimate expense."

She added she felt the large sum spent on the questionnaire and letter about the M6 Link was justified because she was fighting for a real cause. She added: "The problem with a lot of these expenses is they have been abused by some people.

"But if there is an issue to write to people about...I don't think that is a waste of money."

And according to They Work For You she has never voted on a transparent Parliament. Voted moderately for introducing ID cards. Voted very strongly for Labour's anti-terrorism laws. Voted very strongly for the Iraq war and voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war.

Geraldine Smith MP, Champagne Socialist?

I wonder if excessive champagne consumption makes your hair change colour.

If you've found your way here before you might have read that I upset MP for Morecambe and Lunesdale, Geraldine Smith, last year. She was so upset she phoned my home when I was away last November and rather nastily ranted at my parents that she was going to sue me. Such a nice girl.

She has developed some expensive tastes has our Jezza and, according to today's Mail on Sunday, champagne is one of them. Even if she does allegedly pour it into plant pots. You see in this article in the Mail on Sunday she is alleged, by a couple of fellow Labour MPs, to have become involved in a champagne slurping contest with another prat MP, Bill "Loadsamoney" Etherington, famous left-wing champagne guzzler.

This is how the article starts:

Two Labour MPs took part in a champagne drinking contest on an official Commons junket to Paris, which led to one of them being violently ill.
Left-winger Bill Etherington drank so much that a doctor was called.

It was feared the MP might die after he defeated fellow Labour MP Geraldine Smith in the expenses-fuelled boozing competition.

I don't have a problem with people having drinking competitions but at least pay for the booze yourself and don't do it when you are representing your country. But we all know that MPs are complete shites who think pissing taxpayers money down a drain, or projectile vomitting it against a Parisien wall, is fine.

But in defence of the indefensible prat Etherington, there are certain morals involved in drinking competitions. Even worse than making a complete prat of yourself, and shaming your country into the bargain, is being a spineless shite who pretends to be drinking while the other person gets worse, and worse and, in his case, so much worse that a doctor has to be called. Now a person who does that is a complete and utter shit who deserves to be forced to gulp a couple of bottles of whisky in short order, followed by a good long stomach pump as a forfeit.

More on Bill Etherington here.

Please follow links below to read more about Geraldine Smith.

But below is her voting record on key issues (from They Work For You), not particularly impressive in my opinion:

Has never voted on a transparent Parliament.
Voted a mixture of for and against introducing a smoking ban.
Voted moderately for introducing ID cards.
Voted a mixture of for and against introducing foundation hospitals.
Voted moderately against introducing student top-up fees.
Voted very strongly for Labour's anti-terrorism laws.
Voted very strongly for the Iraq war.
Voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war.
Has never voted on replacing Trident.
Voted very strongly for the hunting ban.
Voted moderately against equal gay rights.
Voted moderately against laws to stop climate change.

Hoon And Hewitt-Backstabbers?

Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt are calling for a leadership ballot. Nice timing that.

Geoff Hoon's email:

Dear colleague, As we move towards a general election it remains the case that the parliamentary Labour party is deeply divided over the question of the leadership. Many colleagues have expressed their frustration at the way in which this question is affecting our political performance. We have therefore come to the conclusion that the only way to resolve this issue would be to allow every member to express their view in a secret ballot.

This could be done quickly and with minimum disruption to the work of MPs and the government. Whatever the outcome the whole of the party could then go forward, knowing that this matter had been sorted out once and for all.

Strong supporters of the prime minister should have no difficulty in backing this approach. There is a risk otherwise that the persistent background briefing and grumbling could continue up to and possibly through the election campaign, affecting our ability to concentrate all of our energies on getting our real message across.

Equally, those who want change, should they lose such a vote, would be expected by the majority of the PLP to devote all of their efforts to winning the election. The implications of such a vote would be clear – everyone would be bound to support the result.

This is a clear opportunity to finally lay this matter to rest. The continued speculation and uncertainty is allowing our opponents to portray us as dispirited and disunited. It is damaging our ability to set out our strong case to the electorate. It is giving our political opponents an easy target.

In what will inevitably be a difficult and demanding election campaign, we must have a determined and united parliamentary party. It is our job to lead the fight against our political opponents. We can only do that if we resolve these distractions. We hope that you will support this proposal.

Of course poor old Cyclops trundles out Geraldine "Nice But Dim" Smith, the dense MP for Morecambe and Lunesdale to defend him. This from t'Yorkshire Post:

Labour loyalist Geraldine Smith insisted there was "no appetite" for a ballot and dismissed internal party critics as "joke figures".

"I think it will probably be a fading story by the end of the day and we will be back looking at the snow and the weather conditions, hopefully.

"I don't think there is any appetite within the Parliamentary Labour Party to have a secret ballot," she told the BBC.

"It is no shock that Charles Clarke doesn't support the Prime Minister but he keeps going. He was sending emails round last week - he even sent me one so he has not got very good intelligence because I have been clearly behind the Prime Minister, as have many Labour MPs.

"People like Charles Clarke have just become joke figures really, they are just not taken seriously any more."

I'd have thought Geraldine would have more pressing matters to attend to. Such as applying for jobs, I'm sure she will need some income after she loses her seat on May 6th or even earlier now. Who knows?

Geraldine Smith MP, Morecambe and Lunesdale

Now that MPs' expenses have been published online we can all see what the muppets are claiming for. I find Geraldine Smith's expenses for April 2008 particularly interesting. £200 on food? You can view them here.

What the published expenses do show is that even a not very bright MP like Geraldine Smith can do very well from expenses without even having to resort to anything 'dodgy'. It's quite sickening really.

If you would like to peruse the rest of Geraldine Smith's expenses they can be found here.

In case you are wondering she is my MP, for now unfortunately. Of course there is other stuff about the woman who is probably the densest MP in the House of Commons elsewhere on my blog if you follow the labels below.

Oh no, my parents will probably get another threatening phone call from her now, threatening to sue me for being jolly unpleasant about her. Oh well.

You can also vote for her in my Prick of the Year poll on the side bar if you like.

Voting Open for Prick of the Year 2009

Voting has now started for this blog's Prick of the Year Award, please visit the side bar. You may also like to make a donation to my Christmas charity which is The Prostate Cancer Charity. Again there is a link to the donations page on my side bar.

Most of the people on my poll are pretty obvious. However, a word about Alex. He is the kind of politically correct obsessive who cries RACIST! if you look up to the sky and say: "Oh no, that black cloud looks dodgy". You can find his rather obsessive blog, but I wouldn't recommend it, via a link on yesterday's post, it's very tedious.

Which reminds me of the politically correct pantomime: Precipitation of Indeterminate Colour and the Seven Persons of Diminutive Stature

Geraldine Smith MP-Coward or Bully? (Part 2)

If there is any doubt that my post, the one that prompted an unpleasant and threatening response to my parents from Geraldine Smith MP, quoted from the House of Commons Library believing it, of all places, to be a reliable source, then perhaps the message below will convince:

Dear Sir,

It has come to our attention that there is a link to one of our Standard Notes, about all women shortlists, on your blog site. Regrettably the table erroneously listed Geraldine Smith as being selected as a candidate at the 1997 general election as a result of being on an all women shortlist. I gather that this mistake has caused Ms Smith some embarrassment and we are very sorry that this has happened; the corrected note is now available at http://www.parliament.uk/commons/lib/research/briefings/snpc-05057.pdf.

Yours sincerely,

Isobel White

Isobel White
Parliament and Constitution Centre
House of Commons Library
1 Derby Gate
London
SW1A 2DG

I can only suggest that Isobel and her colleagues warn their parents to expect a call! Unfortunately the House of Commons library failed to send me, the author, this email otherwise I would have dealt with it earlier.

By the way, if you would like to see Geraldine Smith´s record as an MP visit here.

Geraldine Smith MP-Coward or Bully?

Tonight, Tuesday 10 November, I was sat with my wife having a quiet drink in the centre of Brugge. Then my mobile rang, so I felt I should answer it, I was extremely concerned as it was my elderly father, and something was obviously wrong. My parents were distraught and I had to calm them down, they are both elderly and quite vulnerable and not in the best of health.

So what had happened? Well tonight they received an extremely unpleasant, threatening phone call from my local Member of Parliament, Geraldine Smith. She apparently "ranted and raved" about their only son, threatening to sue me, take me to court etc. because of some comments on my blog. I think I have soothed them without the need to return home early, I hope so, even though they were both obviously badly shaken.

It seems that a post of mine in June quoted a House of Commons library source that was wrong, she (Smith) had not, it seems, been on a women only shortlist in 1997. In effect, I had been misled by the House of Commons. Nothing new there then! Sorry about that and I will perhaps seek an apology myself.

Now then, to matters now. With all her allowances it took the genius team of Geraldine Smith nearly 6 months to pick that up. As they said nothing to my parents, or another blog I write for, anything about her expenses claims, which I also wrote about in June, I assume she is happy with that piece.

You can visit both posts if you track back, using the side bar, to my June 2009 blog posts.

So next time you want to throw your weight around Geraldine, pick on me, not my elderly parents.

That's that. I would now like you to apologise to my parents. If you haven't when I return then I will take matters further.

More On Geraldine Smith, MP For Morecambe and Lunesdale

Further to my earlier post about Geraldine Smith's crass hypocrisy, I have also come across the following, from the Telegraph:

Geraldine Smith spent £235 on picture and £185 on mirror for London flat in August 2005. Bought Bali table lamp, floor lamp and three cushions for total of £620 one month later

The following are the Lancashire MEPs in a league table, from the Lancashire Evening Post, according to their annual expenses claims in 2007/08. Geraldine Smith is 37th out of 645:

4th...Ben Wallace (Wyre) - £175,523
8th...David Borrow (Leyland) - £172,706
37th...Geraldine Smith (Morecambe and Lunesdale) - £166,097
294th...Lindsay Hoyle (Chorley) - £148,685
368th...Rosie Cooper (West Lancashire) - £144,129
411th...Mark Hendrick (Preston) - £140,443
481st...Michael Jack (Fylde) - £134,316
570th...Nigel Evans (Ribble Valley) - £126,043

And this from the Lakeland Echo:

Geraldine Smith, MP for Morecambe and Lunesdale, estimated she claimed between £100 and £400 a month, but said that did not cover her total food spend.

She said the claims helped cover the costs of feeding guests in London, meals at the Parliamentary canteen and groceries from a shop near her London flat.

Funny how the mill and factory workers Labour used to represent had to pay for their food when working, even if it was from a subsidised canteen. Not these parasites it seems.

Geraldine Smith MP-Hypocrite.

Geraldine Smith, Member of Parliament for my constituency of Morecambe and Lunesdale, gets a bit gobby in the months leading up to a general election, and she's at it now.

I have removed part of this post as I was misled by the House of Commons Library.

Unfortunately I was wrong expecting the House of Commons Library to be a reliable source and am pleased to show below an email from them. Unfortunately it only came to me, the author, via a third party. They couldn't even get that right!

Dear Sir,

It has come to our attention that there is a link to one of our Standard Notes, about all women shortlists, on your blog site. Regrettably the table erroneously listed Geraldine Smith as being selected as a candidate at the 1997 general election as a result of being on an all women shortlist. I gather that this mistake has caused Ms Smith some embarrassment and we are very sorry that this has happened; the corrected note is now available at http://www.parliament.uk/commons/lib/research/briefings/snpc-05057.pdf.

Yours sincerely,

Isobel White

Isobel White
Parliament and Constitution Centre
House of Commons Library
1 Derby Gate
London
SW1A 2DG

Piggy MPs

My local MP, Geraldine Smith (pictured above), cost the taxpayer £166,097 in expenses last year. That figure included £1,143 for a two night stay in Italy.

Ben Wallace, MP for neighbouring Lancaster and Wyre (also pictured above), spent £175,523 on expenses last year. His expenses included £200 for one night's accomodation in Northern Ireland.

Wallace also claimed the absolute maximum, just by chance I'm sure, for his London base in Clapham, that was £23,000.

Purely by coincidence Ms Smith also claimed £23,000 on her London pad.

To me they are both vermin, as are many of today's current elected 'representatives'. They truly are pigs with their snouts in our trough.

Come on Gordon, bring on that general election, I'm starting to twitch with anticipation.

Jezza the Brownite

Chomping on the rice crispies this morning I had a terrible shock when I read, on teletext, that my local MP, Geraldine Smith, was calling for the sacking of young Miliband. I immediately switched to the TV news and caught a doppelganger being interviewed. Hence the two piccies. But no it was Geraldine, her hair has just changed colour. When I stood against her in 2001 her hair was so black she made your average Raven look Teutonic, her nickname was Morticia. Now she's some kind of strawberry blonde I think you call it. I think she is perhaps overworking.

It's very rare you hear from Geraldine in Morecambe and Lunesdale unless it's an extremely local issue, such as cracked pavements. She got in on the Chinese cocklers' tragedy although excellent local independent councillor Keith Budden had been the man campaigning for years for improved safety and monitoring of cocklers in the Bay, there were TV and radio crews there for days you see.

Yet suddenly she comes out fighting for Big Gordy Brown. I can only think she is tired of politics and knows that if Big Gordy remains in charge she will lose her seat next time round.