Vegan Football Fascist

Proper food!

Just when you think the football world couldn't get any more stupid up pops Dale Vince, proving once again that football clubs are just rich mens' playthings, stuff the fans.

Fans of Forest Green Rovers are no longer allowed to eat red meat, such as burgers and sausages at games because the owner of the club has an eating disorder, he is a vegan. What a pillock! OK, he's the owner, so he has every right to do that. But as a supporter of non-legue football he has just ensured that I never step foot inside that particularly poxy football ground.

Most games I attend I don't actually eat anything, I can go a couple of hours without having to chomp. But I do get pissed off with these people forcing their lifestyle choices on others. If you eat meat but go to a vegetarian friend's for a meal do you get meat? No you don't. When said friend comes to you for a meal do you serve them meat? No you don't.

A few weeks ago the pillock banned his players from eating meat. They are currently lying 18th in the Football Conference.

I'm really going to enjoy my seek kebabs and tandoori chicken tonight.

Full Story.

Mandy Arrest Shock

Forgive me if I've missed something here, but it seems to be big news that the pinko liberal greenie veggie type who turned Mandelson's head into a trifle has been arrested. At a time when our politicians are so loathed I was amazed that the pinko wasn't nicked there and then.

But no, she could have also sprinkled hundreds and thousands on his head if she'd been properly organised. You would have expected security around HM's Business Minister, whatever his title is, to have had her pinned to the floor within seconds, for forgetting the jelly and cream if nothing else. But she just casually walked away and had a chat with a few TV reporters. The following says it all:

Lord Mandelson...told Andrew Marr that he was "slightly surprised" his attacker "could just saunter off without being apprehended".

That's scary, I actually agree with Mandy. Maybe all the security fellows were doubled up laughing like I was when I saw it.

But trust Jacqui Smith to come out with crap like this:

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith told Sky News' Sunday Live programme: "I don't think in a democracy where people are able to speak up that anybody should chuck custard at anybody in the street. It's not appropriate."

Tell you what Jacqui, it's a damn sight more 'appropriate' than bombing the crap out of other countries.

Want A Laugh At Mandelson's Expense?

This is brilliant.

OK so the girl is a pinko liberal greenie veggie type. But I still keep watching it again, and again, and again......

He has such a smug look before the custard flies. Magic.

Even better here it is:

The North Is The Best-Official

When it comes to fish and chip shops the best in the country are in the North, and for my money the North West! If you don't believe me read this.

For me the big problem is that chippies 'darn sarf' don't sell the following:

Steak puddings
Mushy peas
Gravy
Cheese and onion pies

That should disqualify them from using the name 'chippy'. How can you have pie/pudding and chips without the piping hot comforting moisture of rich dark gravy? What's fish and chips without the luminous green blob of a portion of mushy peas? I've never seen scratchings in chippies 'darn sarf' either.

The picture shows my favourite compromise chippy meal. Can't decide between pudding and fish? Have both, with mushy peas and gravy. Oops, don't forget the four slices of Warburton's thick sliced bread dripping in real butter for chip butties, and a glass of Vimto!

And our local chippy is in that Irish gastronome's guide, you know, Egon Rooney.

Health Fascists

This really has pissed me off. I heard about it yesterday when I had a break from grafting and was having a brew at a butty wagon.

When will people wake up to this creeping fascist state and actually do something rather than sit in the house or the pub whining. If I want to eat rabbit food I won't go to a roadside butty wagon or a greasy spoon. If the owners of aforementioned dining facilities want to start selling yoghurt and rabbit food then that's their decision.

What I hope one of them does is humanely put down the first environmental health/salad/yoghurt inspector who turns up at his establishment and proceed to spit roast him and serve him on burger buns with fried onions at £2-00 a time. I'll have some of that.

And if they insist on forcing butty wagons to sell stuff they were not invented for then why not force veggie cafes to serve me a nice rare sirloin or duck breast? After all who looks healthier to you, somebody who loves a full fried brekkie or a pasty faced, skinny, anaemic looking veggie?

Grey Squirrel For Lunch

This story is as far as conservation should go. Vegetarianism is really just another eating disorder so eating meat should always be encouraged. However, help save our native red squirrels by eating grey ones instead. Yummy, yummy.

Take Me Back To Dear Old Blighty, Put Me On The Train For London Town....

Back from the holiday after an overnighter in London, which included the hottest Goan curry I've had for years. Refreshed but still fearing the worst from our police state, the continuing devolopment of which hit us as soon as we got back within British radio reception range.

People can now get police checks on neighbours, and God knows who else, if they have kids and think the subject might be a paedophile. A right charter for nutters if you ask me. Can you imagine the poor eccentric over the road who some dead head chav thinks is 'a bit iffy, know what I mean?', malicious nods, winks and innuendo and before you know it a lynch mob, fuelled with righteous indignation, tears the poor sod limb from limb. But the government says that people cannot pass on information given. Oh, that's alright then!! Paedophilia, the new witchcraft for the new puritan era.

Then driving up the M1/M6 today we heard about West Sussex council planning to bollock people if they don't turn their cars off when idling, such as at traffic lights or outside a school. Then some fascist from their transport department popped up promising to bring in £20 fines if bollocking doesn't work. It seems that the colour associated with fascism in the thirties was black, in 2008 it is the greenshirts we have to fear.

And the government wants to impose 'democracy' on the Iraqis and Afghans, poor buggers.

Militant Mushroomists

I had to have a chortle at this tale about a jar of mushroom soup leaking onto a plane passenger, who just happens to be allergic to mushrooms.

But then I have to wonder why you can only take a tiny bottle of shampoo on a flight, and in a plastic bag too, but a jar of mushroom soup is OK. Maybe it was concentrate which was why the passenger it leaked on had such a severe reaction. Or was it planted by militant vegetarians?!

Free Tibet

I have every sympathy with the people of Tibet and would happily campaign in the UK on their behalf, although I haven't yet. I fully agreed with the demos in London and elsewhere when the Olymic Torch was being carried to China. What I do find objectionable is people going to China, from this country, and demonstrating on behalf of the Tibetan people, or supposedly on their behalf. The case in point being this story that broke this morning.

Once again it seems to be 'eco-warrior veggie green' types indulging in a spot of cultural imperialism. They probably despise Britain for our imperial past but have no qualms about trying to impose their values and beliefs on alien cultures and systems when it suits their agenda. Yet another case of double standards on the pinko liberal left, a subject on which I posted here last month.

Eco Warriors

I have no reason to doubt this report about weapons being found at a demo of the great unwashed.

What I do find bizarre is that the police claim that only 150 or so green veggie types were intent on causing trouble, then claim they filled a whole lorry with confiscated weapons.

Stuffing the Nanny State

Driving home last night listening to the radio, independent commercial radio, I heard what I thought to be a rather poor satire which led to me pondering on the lack of really good, hard hitting comedy at the moment. This comedy, as I thought, was a take on the government being so overbearing and oppressive that Stalinist style public service announcements were now telling us how to wash our Christmas turkey and how to cook it so we weren't all dead of food poisoning by Boxing Day.

I have since heard the ads several times and they are actually made, and funded, by you and me, the taxpayers, on behalf of the nanny state. Not content with such patronising pap they have also employed, no doubt at ridiculous expense, so-called celebrity chefs to add some gravitas, or at least popular appeal. Yes the ads were actually serious government warnings.

Now do the government really think we are all stupid? Do they really think that we only ever cook at Christmas time because the rest of the year we use the chip shop, or McDonalds if dining out on special occasions? Perhaps the government thinks we will all wake up on 27th December and say: "Thank God for those announcements about preparing turkey, I'm still alive, in gratitude I'll vote Labour next time".

Mrs Beaman and I are having goose and the government hasn't told us what to do with goose, so we will probably poison ourselves eating it raw. But then we could join the parasitic, no pun intended, compensation culture and go to law for a few bob! Or perhaps we could forget the bird and stuff the government!

Which reminds me of an old joke that always really angers the green, veggie types:

Did you hear about the Korean car sticker? It says: "A dog isn't just for Christmas-there should be enough for Boxing Day too".