Friday, July 16, 2010

Customer Service? Bollocks! (Part 2)

Following my post yesterday about B&Q, specifically their totally incompetent Bamber Bridge store, there is a further development.

After being told that their delivery vehicles, drivers and goods fall into a black hole, never to be seen again, if they venture near Lancaster on a Friday, the problem has been solved.

After preparing for a Saturday delivery of my flooring, because of the above insoluble problem, I received a phone call late yesterday afternoon. The greatest scientific minds in the world, led by Stephen Hawking no doubt, have solved the problem of the de-materialising trucks and my delivery will be here this aftenoon, between 5-00pm and 7-00pm depending on the time warp factor no doubt, or maybe the traffic. Kicking arse does work, even with mongs and simpletons it seems.

Then there is the problem with Topps Tiles, or should that be 'Bottoms' Tiles because they are a bunch of arseholes too? But that's similar to the B&Q experience and too raw for me to recount at the moment without resorting to single malt, and it's far too early.

Bastards!

4 comments:

Chuckles said...

Sounds like typical UK customer service to me, in fact better than average if the goods actually show up? You are spot-on on the remedy though, a triple single malt should about do it.
Do you think the truck dematerialisation is linked to the Rise of the Machines and the Eurostar decloaking captured by the Register a while back?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/11/09/stealth_train/

Gregg Beaman said...

You're not wrong there. The customer is now just a cash cow. Service? What's that? We've got your cash now piss off!

Will have a nosey at the register.

Thanks.

MikeP said...

Deep breaths Gregg, deep breaths.

Go to your happy place!

(not that one in a field with an upside down plane and a banner fluttering behind it either! ;-) )

Gregg Beaman said...

Nicely Mike!

I remember something about cunning stunts and stunning......! Very apt.

Feeling a litle karma now, but yesterday I was considering taking a baseball bat for a bit of retail therapy.