I thought I'd sat through my last tedious training seminar by some grey, demotivational management consultant. Wrong! Today I endured the start of the Conservative Party conference, and I see why they cocked up in May and ended up in coalition with the Lib Dims.
The ministers spoke as if they'd been on mogaddon since May 6th, not trying to put right the wreckage left behind by the shower of idiots that is the Labour Party. If I were recruiting staff and they had to do those ridiculous presentations that are vogue in recruitment at the moment, I would have stopped them all, halfway through, and told them to bugger off and not to come back if that's as much enthusiasm as they can muster.
Having said that Boris Johnson was extremely engaging, entertaining as ever, and actually sounded like he enjoyed what he was doing. How refreshing. I particularly liked his dig at the French when mentioning how few bikes the London cycle scheme has had stolen compared to the Paris scheme. Unlike the other speakers today Boris seems happy to speak from the heart, and often without his prepared speech. Good on him.
It was particularly bad for TV viewers, the electorate in reality. The speakers kept introducing short films that had the sound blacked out by broadcasters who had to endure muzak for minutes at a time. Do they not realise that there are hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of TV viewers to convert to their cause not just the few hundred hard core Tories in the hall?
Then they kept introducing, during their speeches/presentations, odd characters who sat on sofas or armchairs to answer a couple of questions before scurrying off looking nervous and embarrassed. It was like an even blander version of breakfast TV, but for people who have overslept. In fact it was worse, it was cringe inducing.
What I expected was a series of enthusiastic government ministers, boasting about their achievements since seizing power after May 6th and telling us how they intend to put right the damage they found after taking over from Labour and what a positive and vibrant future we could all look forward to. Instead I felt like I'd been slapped in the face with a wet cod, that's how it feels being governed by a coalition including the Lib Dims I suppose.
So I turned the telly off at around 3-00pm to concentrate on swotting up on intestacy and estate residue. Much more interesting.