C'est ici, tonight's the night, the big one, the night we all wait for from the end of one competition to the start of the next. Well we do don't we? Yes, tonight is Eurovision night! Just to be helpful I've even found just the blog to keep you up to date, Eurovision Blog.
There was a good joke on Twitter today. Jedward, who are singing for Ireland tonight, say they want to become the new ABBA. Well somebody had better tell them they are two men short!
When I watch Eurovision I can't help thinking that it sums up the whole European project. Yes I know all Eurovision countries aren't in the EU, but it is definitely the musical and cultural equivalent of the EU, artificial, tacky, bland, meaningless, shallow and so on. Not forgetting corrupt.
You get countries with great histories and cultures such as the UK, France, Spain and others who, for this one night in the year, seem to find the most bizarre pub singer, in the most camp outfit, with the worst backing band, worst dance and most ridiculous song to parade in the world's worst carnival in a huge hangar type hall in some European city. Each country is a fine place in itself but bringing them together diminishes each one beyond recognition, just like the EU does. But unlike the EU people love it, even if it's just to laugh at it.
But having said that we'll be glued to the telly tonight, laughing as Greece gives Cyprus douze points, Turkey gives Greece nul points and just like the EU, we see that the whole thing is just a corrupt sham. How apt that a journalist called Campey christened it Eurovision.
So, whether you are watching it because you think it's European Union style high culture, because it's always a good for a giggle or you genuinely enjoy the spectacle I hope you enjoy it. But don't throw the telly out of the window if France gives us nul points!
Now for my confession. I once bought a song that had won the Eurovision Song Contest. But to put it in perspective I'd also taken my 11+ that year. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Severine and Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue. I might have had a crush on Severine too actually!